In many countries, people like to eat a wider range of food that cannot be grown in their local place. Therefore, much of the food people eat today has to come from other regions. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?
Sample Response
These days, it is quite common for people to eat foods that are not, or cannot, be grown or produced where they live. As a consequence, large quantities of food are either transported long distances within a country or imported from other countries. This essay will review some of the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
Thanks to globalisation, the increase in efficient transportation between and within countries, and a growing trend in food culture, people can now enjoy a vast array of foods like never before. This trend has many advantages. Firstly, having access to a wide variety of foods from different regions can provide people with a highly nutritious diet that can help to promote health and prevent disease. (1) For example, some kinds of nutrient-rich berries that can only be grown in Asia can now be enjoyed by people all over the world. Furthermore, with such a growing interest in exotic foods and food culture, people can experience a range of cuisine without leaving their own town or city.
However, this trend also comes with a number of disadvantages. For example, some communities around the world where exotic and rare foods are grown are losing their own access to their food sources. When demand for a certain food increases, the price also increases, and people in poorer countries where the food is grown can sometimes not afford to buy it anymore. (2) Another problem with this trend is that the constant transportation of foods over long distances contributes to climate change due to the large amount of carbon emissions produced by transportation. (3) And lastly, many foods that are transported long distances need to be treated with chemicals and preservatives which make them less healthy to consume. (4)
Overall, although there are many benefits to having access to a wide variety of foods, personally, I believe that the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve noun phrase Original: the increase in efficient transportation Suggested revision: improvements in transport efficiency Why it matters: This revision expresses the development in transportation more naturally.
- 2. Clarify vague phrase Original: a growing trend in food culture Suggested revision: growing interest in international cuisine Why it matters: The revision states the intended change in food culture more precisely.
- 3. Remove stray marker Original: (1) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained reference marker interrupts the flow and has no corresponding note.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: cuisine Suggested revision: cuisines Why it matters: Cuisine should be plural after a range of when referring to multiple regional food traditions.
- 5. Avoid repetition Original: their own access to their food sources Suggested revision: access to these foods Why it matters: This replacement removes repetitive possessives and clarifies the reference.
- 6. Correct adverb position Original: can sometimes not afford Suggested revision: sometimes cannot afford Why it matters: Placing sometimes before cannot gives the intended meaning in standard word order.
- 7. Remove stray marker Original: (2) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained reference marker interrupts the argument and has no corresponding note.
- 8. Use precise phrasing Original: constant transportation of foods Suggested revision: frequent transportation of food Why it matters: Frequent better describes repeated shipments, and food is the natural general noun here.
- 9. Fix quantity collocation Original: large amount of carbon emissions Suggested revision: high level of carbon emissions Why it matters: A high level is a more natural quantity expression with carbon emissions.
- 10. Remove stray marker Original: (3) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained reference marker distracts from the transition to the final disadvantage.
- 11. Refine transition Original: And lastly Suggested revision: Lastly Why it matters: Lastly provides the transition without the unnecessary coordinating conjunction.
- 12. Remove stray marker Original: (4) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained reference marker should be removed because no corresponding note is provided.
Suggested Rewrites
- the increase in efficient transportation improvements in transport efficiency
- a growing trend in food culture growing interest in international cuisine
- (1) Delete
- cuisine cuisines
- their own access to their food sources access to these foods
- can sometimes not afford sometimes cannot afford
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest when it explains several concrete disadvantages through clear cause-and-effect chains while maintaining a definite final position. Its main limitation is that the judgement that disadvantages outweigh benefits is stated more than demonstrated because the two sides are mostly presented in sequence; prioritize explicitly comparing their scale or long-term importance and refining a few awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages, supports them with relevant examples, and gives a clear final judgement.
Demonstrate the outweigh judgement by directly comparing the relative importance or duration of the strongest benefit and disadvantage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically grouped and easy to follow, with clear progression from benefits to drawbacks and the final position.
Remove the intrusive numbered markers and use subtler internal links to make the organisation feel more natural and continuous.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective topic language despite occasional awkward combinations such as ‘a range of cuisine’.
Check noun forms and collocations carefully, especially when describing varieties of food, transport efficiency, and consumer access.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few minor issues do not impede communication.
Polish occasional awkward constructions and sentence openings, such as ‘can sometimes not’ and ‘And lastly,’ for more consistent control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, people like to eat a wider range of food that cannot be grown in their local place. Therefore, much of the food people eat today has to come from other regions. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.