Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Environmental problems and pollutions are often considered to be the direct result of a country’s development. Industrialisation, growing number of factories, people’s capability of purchasing more cars and electronic device etc. are often related to the economic condition and growth of a nation. However, I do not agree that pollution and other environmental problems are caused only because of the economic growth of a country and that this cannot be avoided.
First, it does not take an expert to understand that pollution and environmental problems are more prominent in poor countries than that of rich countries. Air, sound and water pollutions in countries like India and Bangladesh are far dangerous than that of developed countries like Australia, Canada and the UK. Furthermore, the number of factories does not represent the amount of pollution it causes. For instance, recent researches have made it clear that only a few garments factories in a country like Bangladesh cause far more damage to the air and water resources than hundreds of bigger industries do in the United States.
Second, economic development does not mean that a country will have industries and factories all over the country. Proper planning and inspection from the government can ensure the minimal emission of gas and other toxic elements into the water and air. So even if the industrialisation is imminent for the development of a country, it does not mean that we will have no way to minimise the pollution and environmental issues. For instance, industrialisation does not cause as much deforestation as it is caused by human greed and lack of inspection and law in many countries.
Finally, pollution is a global issue and proper law and enforcement of laws can reduce it to a great extent. We cannot stop the natural causes of pollution but the greater percentages of environmental pollutions are caused by the human actions. We should educate people, encourage them and enforce strict laws to save our environment while development of a country has nothing to do with the rampant pollution we can see nowadays in many cities.
In conclusion, I would agree that development and industrialisation affect the environment negatively to some extent but this is not the prime factor in polluting our environment. We still have time and lot of options to reduce the pollutions and environmental problems to make the world a better place for the future generation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: pollutions Suggested revision: pollution Why it matters: Pollution is uncountable when referring generally to environmental contamination.
- 2. Add article Original: growing number of factories Suggested revision: a growing number of factories Why it matters: The singular countable phrase number requires an article.
- 3. Use plural and comma Original: electronic device etc. Suggested revision: electronic devices, etc. Why it matters: The noun should be plural in this list, and etc. should be preceded by a comma.
- 4. Use broader plural Original: the economic condition Suggested revision: economic conditions Why it matters: The plural better describes the range of national economic circumstances.
- 5. Use concise cause phrase Original: caused only because of Suggested revision: caused solely by Why it matters: Caused by is the correct and more concise causal construction.
- 6. Correct pollution terms Original: Air, sound and water pollutions Suggested revision: Air, noise and water pollution Why it matters: Noise pollution is the standard term, and pollution remains uncountable in this list.
- 7. Form the comparison Original: far dangerous Suggested revision: far more dangerous Why it matters: The comparative adjective needs more after the intensifier far.
- 8. Correct comparison Original: than that of developed countries Suggested revision: than in developed countries Why it matters: The comparison is between levels of pollution in countries, not between pollution and countries.
- 9. Use uncountable research Original: researches Suggested revision: research Why it matters: Research is normally uncountable when referring generally to studies or findings.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: inspection from the government Suggested revision: government inspection Why it matters: Government inspection is the standard concise collocation for official oversight.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: the minimal emission Suggested revision: minimal emissions Why it matters: Emissions should be plural when referring to multiple releases from industries.
- 12. Choose precise terms Original: gas and other toxic elements Suggested revision: gases and other toxic substances Why it matters: Gases and substances accurately describe the pollutants released into air and water.
Suggested Rewrites
- pollutions pollution
- growing number of factories a growing number of factories
- electronic device etc. electronic devices, etc.
- the economic condition economic conditions
- caused only because of caused solely by
- Air, sound and water pollutions Air, noise and water pollution
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear, nuanced disagreement and organises several relevant arguments about regulation, planning, and the weak link between national wealth and unavoidable pollution. Its main limitation is that some comparisons and examples are asserted too broadly, while recurring language errors reduce accuracy. The highest-priority improvement is to build each claim through tighter cause-and-effect reasoning and then edit plural forms, comparisons, articles, and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses the claim directly, sustains a clear position, and develops several relevant reasons why environmental damage can be limited, although some evidence is overgeneralised.
Use more carefully qualified examples and explain exactly how each one demonstrates that pollution is avoidable during development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from cross-country comparison to planning and legal solutions, with effective paragraphing despite some repetition.
Reduce repeated statements about regulation and make the logical connection between economic growth, governance, and pollution explicit in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad topic-specific vocabulary, but recurring plural, collocation, and word-choice problems reduce precision and naturalness.
Review countable and uncountable environmental terms and replace inaccurate combinations such as researches, pollutions, and imminent industrialisation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good range of complex sentence forms, but regular errors in articles, comparison structures, agreement, and noun phrases remain noticeable.
Proofread comparisons and long noun phrases carefully, checking article use, singular-plural agreement, and clause structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Pollution and other environmental problems are resulting from a country's developing and becoming richer. Some think this cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.