In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Sample Response
Economic growth is a sphere that receives more attention than any other national domain in many states all over the world. The principal benefits of this phenomenon are lower unemployment and wealthier citizens, and the main downsides are higher costs of living for most and insufficient support for the poorest.
On the one hand, what makes that prioritizing economic expansion is beneficial for the public is the fact that fever residents remain unemployed. This is because governments boost establishing various businesses, which will require many workers to operate. In addition, not only does a country become more powerful economically, but also many residents have an opportunity to become affluent. When companies generate more profit, it reflects how much money employees can make. In Poland, for example, 30 years after communism collapsed, average salaries offered for a middle-management position have tripled.
On the other hand, as a country’s economy thrives, costs of living increase. The most compelling reason for that could be the fact that since workers are paid more, their services become more expensive, which results in higher prices of many products. Moreover, in many cases, a state whose main priority is its economy offers little support for those who need it. If authorities believe that a strong economy is of the greatest importance, they are rather reluctant to offer help to those who do not contribute to the nation’s prosperity. To illustrate, when Donald Trump, who was a big advocate of a strong economy, became the president of the USA, the funds for jobless migrants were caught.
In conclusion, as with anything in life, prioritizing economic growth by authorities has its pros and cons. While more have jobs that allow them to become wealthy, costs of living are going up, and those who need to rely on the social care system are marginalized.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb pattern Original: boost establishing Suggested revision: encourage the establishment of Why it matters: The verb 'boost' does not take a gerund naturally in this context.
- 2. Clarify business staffing Original: many workers to operate Suggested revision: a large workforce to operate Why it matters: Businesses require a workforce; the original phrasing makes the workers themselves seem to operate.
- 3. Use precise verb Original: reflects Suggested revision: affects Why it matters: Profit can affect earnings, whereas 'reflects' does not express the intended causal relationship.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: a middle-management position Suggested revision: middle-management positions Why it matters: The statement generalises about salaries across positions, so a plural noun is needed.
- 5. Fix fixed expression Original: costs of living increase Suggested revision: the cost of living increases Why it matters: The standard expression is singular: 'the cost of living'.
- 6. Remove wordy framing Original: The most compelling reason for that could be the fact that since Suggested revision: One reason could be that Why it matters: The original sequence combines two causal frames and creates an awkward clause.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: their services become more expensive Suggested revision: the services they provide become more expensive Why it matters: This wording makes the connection between workers and services more explicit.
- 8. Remove unnecessary article Original: became the president of the USA Suggested revision: became president of the USA Why it matters: A title used after 'became' normally takes no article.
- 9. Correct collocation Original: the funds for jobless migrants were caught Suggested revision: funding for unemployed migrants was cut Why it matters: Funding is 'cut', not 'caught', and the mass noun takes a singular verb.
- 10. Add missing noun Original: While more have jobs Suggested revision: While more people have jobs Why it matters: The comparative determiner 'more' needs a noun here to identify who has jobs.
- 11. Fix fixed expression Original: higher costs of living for most Suggested revision: a higher cost of living for most people Why it matters: The standard expression is singular, and 'people' makes the reference complete.
- 12. Improve profit collocation Original: generate more profit Suggested revision: generate higher profits Why it matters: 'Higher profits' is a more natural collocation when comparing company earnings.
Suggested Rewrites
- boost establishing encourage the establishment of
- many workers to operate a large workforce to operate
- reflects affects
- a middle-management position middle-management positions
- costs of living increase the cost of living increases
- The most compelling reason for that could be the fact that since One reason could be that
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, clearly signposted treatment of employment, prosperity, living costs, and social support, with relevant explanation and examples. Its main limitation is recurring awkward or inaccurate language, including collocations and sentence structures that sometimes weaken precision, while one supporting example is questionable. Prioritise accurate phrasing and cleaner complex sentences, then make each example more credible and explicitly tied to the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages clearly and develops each side with relevant explanations and examples.
Use a more credible, precisely explained example for reduced social support and show exactly how it proves the claimed disadvantage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Make connections within sentences more natural and avoid formulaic transitions where the logical relationship is already clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to boosting business establishment or funds being caught with natural, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted successfully, though recurring errors in clause construction and comparative phrasing remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentence frames carefully, especially cleft structures, correlative constructions, and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.