Developing the economy will always damage the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is often asserted that economic progress must always come at the expense of environmental. While this is not the case for entrenched economies, it is true for nations trying to gain a foothold in the global marketplace.
Only developed nations have the prerogative of protecting the environment without major economic backlash. The best examples of this can be seen in advanced economies around the world ranging from Japan and South Korea in Asia to France and Germany in Europe and the UAE and Kuwait in the Middle East. All these nations are already dominant in various global economic sectors. Germany leads the world in automobile manufacturing and other high-end goods. Japan is famous for its electronics and entertainments brands. This frees them up to haughtily build more energy efficient factories, tax companies, pass public awareness bans, and regulate pollution far more aggressively than developing nations.
Developing nations have neither the means nor the inclination to protect the environment. A good example of this can be seen in Vietnam, which is a rapidly evolving, populous nation. A good deal of their economic growth has come from offshore drilling, which has resulted in oil spills, as well as factories dotting the countryside, which contribute to growing concerns about air pollution. Many people depend on these businesses for their livelihood and the companies are trying to compete with developed nations from a huge initial, competitive disadvantage. In order to catch up they must cut environmental corners or risk falling further behind globally.
In conclusion, environmental conservation is a privilege for countries that contributed the most to climate change historically. Developed nations ought to make allowances for countries that are still struggling to provide their citizenry with a decent standard of living.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use noun form Original: at the expense of environmental Suggested revision: at the expense of the environment Why it matters: A noun is required after the preposition, and the specific natural environment takes an article here.
- 2. Use accurate term Original: entrenched Suggested revision: established Why it matters: “Entrenched” usually describes practices or attitudes and is not a natural label for developed economies here.
- 3. Correct word choice Original: prerogative of protecting Suggested revision: capacity to protect Why it matters: The point concerns economic ability rather than an exclusive right or privilege.
- 4. Use precise consequence Original: backlash Suggested revision: harm Why it matters: “Backlash” normally refers to a strong adverse reaction, while the sentence describes economic damage.
- 5. Use attributive singular Original: entertainments Suggested revision: entertainment Why it matters: The attributive noun modifying “brands” should be singular.
- 6. Use economic term Original: evolving Suggested revision: developing Why it matters: “Developing” expresses economic change more precisely in this context.
- 7. Fix pronoun agreement Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with the singular country, Vietnam.
- 8. Improve collocation Original: from a huge initial, competitive disadvantage Suggested revision: from a substantial initial competitive disadvantage Why it matters: The revision removes the incorrect comma and uses a more appropriate formal modifier.
- 9. Add introductory comma Original: In order to catch up they Suggested revision: In order to catch up, they Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory purpose phrase from the main clause.
- 10. Use formal phrasing Original: cut environmental corners Suggested revision: compromise environmental standards Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same meaning in a more precise academic register.
- 11. Qualify absolute claim Original: Only developed nations have Suggested revision: Developed nations generally have Why it matters: The qualifier avoids presenting a broad tendency as an exceptionless fact.
- 12. Reduce wordiness Original: The best examples of this can be seen Suggested revision: Examples of this can be found Why it matters: The revision conveys the same meaning more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- at the expense of environmental at the expense of the environment
- entrenched established
- prerogative of protecting capacity to protect
- backlash harm
- entertainments entertainment
- evolving developing
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced distinction between developed and developing economies and supports it with specific country-based discussion in a logically structured argument. Its main limitation is that some claims are overgeneralised and the conclusion introduces historical responsibility without fully connecting it to the exact question; several ambitious word choices are also imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify the claims and link the conclusion directly to the stated position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear qualified position and develops both sides of its developed-versus-developing distinction, but some sweeping claims and the shifted conclusion limit depth.
Qualify the country-level generalisations and restate explicitly in the conclusion how far economic development necessarily causes environmental damage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from the thesis through two well-focused body paragraphs to a conclusion, with effective internal sequencing.
Strengthen the final link between the second body paragraph and the conclusion so the last policy point follows directly from the argument.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a wide range of academic and topic-specific vocabulary, although several ambitious choices are inaccurate or unnatural.
Replace imprecise expressions such as entrenched economies, haughtily build, public awareness bans, and entertainments brands with natural equivalents.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentences is used with generally strong control, while occasional noun-form, punctuation, and reference errors remain.
Proofread noun forms, modifier placement, and unnecessary commas while retaining the effective variety of sentence structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Developing the economy will always damage the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.