Studies show that criminals get a low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is educating people in prison so they can get a job after leaving prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Educating offenders during imprisonment as a method of reducing the future crime rates is a major topic of concern in today’s society. While such a solution is effective in reducing crime, it is far from being the best method and there are many better ways of reducing crime.
Education for prisoners may contribute to the reduction of crime. The primary reason is that such a form of education could provide offenders with the working skills that are essential when they return to the community. With improved job prospects, prisoners may therefore earn a living after leaving prison and are less likely to commit a crime again. Another significant reason is that education could instil a sense of value and self-worth in offenders. As a consequence, they may demonstrate more empathy towards others in the wider community, and become better citizens after their prison years. This may even have ripple effects on others around them to live without crime.
Educating offenders, however, is not the best solution to reduce crime. This form of education is offered only to those who have committed a crime, and therefore has far less preventive value, compared to other stronger solutions. For example, severe punishments such as longer imprisonment for criminals could deter criminal acts by other members of the public who have the intention of carrying out a crime. There are also other educational methods that may have a stronger and more long-lasting impact on the reduction of crime. An excellent example of this is crime education at school, which helps equip students with the necessary knowledge about crime and crime prevention. This measure is undeniably a more sustainable crime-fighting solution than education for criminals.
In conclusion, although educating prisoners is an effective way to reduce crime, it is not the best solution, as there are more preventive and sustainable measures such as education about at school and stricter punishments for criminals. It is recommended that all of these solutions should be taken simultaneously to maximise the reduction of crime.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the future crime rates Suggested revision: future crime rates Why it matters: The plural noun phrase refers to crime rates generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: working Suggested revision: job Why it matters: “Job skills” is the more natural collocation for abilities used in employment.
- 3. Avoid redundant wording Original: a sense of value and self-worth Suggested revision: a sense of self-worth Why it matters: “Value” and “self-worth” overlap here, so one precise term is clearer.
- 4. Use precise phrasing Original: after their prison years Suggested revision: after serving their sentences Why it matters: This phrase more precisely describes the period after imprisonment.
- 5. Improve noun pattern Original: best solution to reduce crime Suggested revision: best solution for reducing crime Why it matters: “Solution for reducing” is the more natural pattern when describing a method.
- 6. Remove unnecessary comma Original: preventive value, compared to Suggested revision: preventive value compared to Why it matters: The comparative phrase is integral to the clause and should not be separated by a comma.
- 7. Avoid awkward comparison Original: other stronger solutions Suggested revision: stronger alternatives Why it matters: “Alternatives” expresses the contrast concisely without the awkward sequence “other stronger.”
- 8. Make wording concise Original: members of the public who have the intention of carrying out a crime Suggested revision: people who intend to commit crimes Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same idea with more direct and natural wording.
- 9. Clarify educational focus Original: crime education at school Suggested revision: crime-prevention education in schools Why it matters: This phrase clearly identifies both the subject and the educational setting.
- 10. Supply missing object Original: education about at school Suggested revision: education about crime at school Why it matters: The preposition “about” requires an object to complete the phrase.
- 11. Use correct collocation Original: taken Suggested revision: implemented Why it matters: Solutions or measures are normally “implemented” rather than “taken.”
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: This may even have ripple effects on others around them to live without crime. Suggested revision: This may even have a ripple effect by encouraging people around them to live without committing crimes. Why it matters: The original infinitive phrase does not connect grammatically to “effects on others.”
Suggested Rewrites
- the future crime rates future crime rates
- working job
- a sense of value and self-worth a sense of self-worth
- after their prison years after serving their sentences
- best solution to reduce crime best solution for reducing crime
- preventive value, compared to preventive value compared to
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, well-supported position and develops both the benefits of prisoner education and the greater preventive value of alternatives with strong logical control. Its main limitation is that a few claims, especially about harsher punishment and wider ripple effects, are asserted more confidently than they are evidenced. Prioritise sharper qualification and more concrete support for those comparisons while correcting the small number of awkward phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both the value and limitations of prisoner education are explored with relevant, extended support.
Qualify the less certain claims about deterrence and social ripple effects, and support the comparison of solutions with more concrete reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a well-controlled contrast between rehabilitation and more preventive approaches, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Make the transition from punishment to school education slightly more explicit so the two alternative measures form an even tighter comparative argument.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, including effective terms such as 'job prospects', 'self-worth', and 'preventive value'.
Refine occasional awkward combinations such as 'live without crime' and 'education about at school' to maintain consistent lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error-free and easy to process.
Proofread for isolated construction errors, particularly the malformed prepositional phrase in the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Studies show that criminals get a low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is educating people in prison so they can get a job after leaving prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.