Education is the single most important factor in the development of developing countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Sample Response
Education does not limit itself only to gaining knowledge; it also includes learning, practising, and mastering skills in order to achieve goals. Any country is considered to be developed when it attains perfection or highest position in terms of economic, agricultural, defence, technology, transportation and healthcare sectors. In my view, education forms the skeleton of success in all these sectors which leads the nation towards development.
In the agricultural field adequate knowledge and training of a variety of seeds, fertilisers and antibiotics help the farmers produce more grains which serve the need of country as well as fetch good demand across the globe. For example, India is famous for its production of spices, fruits like Alphonso, apples, grapes and oranges. This helps the country to become independent for food and simultaneously earn foreign currency.
The advanced healthcare system needs well-educated professionals, advanced technology, awareness and practice of preventive measures, as well as huge investment in medical research. However, proper education of hygiene and sanitation will help reduce such avoidable expenses.
Similarly, manufacturing, transportation, information technology demands the high level of expertise, proper planning and implementation which depends upon the knowledge, skills and training. Community attitude and behaviour are crucial for the development by maintaining discipline, rules and regulation, implementation of set process and dedication towards work. These all comes from proper education and sense of responsibility towards building the country.
On the other hand, some people may not agree on education being the sole important factor, as there may be other considerable variables such as availability of gold and fuels, per capita income versus expenditure, defence force and effective leadership. I still believe that education is the backbone of any successful country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate definition phrase Original: limit itself only to Suggested revision: consist only of Why it matters: Consist only of is the natural expression for defining the scope of education.
- 2. Add parallel articles Original: attains perfection or highest position Suggested revision: achieves excellence or a leading position Why it matters: The revision makes the two alternatives grammatically parallel and supplies the needed article.
- 3. Make list forms parallel Original: economic, agricultural, defence, technology, transportation and healthcare sectors Suggested revision: economic, agricultural, defence, technological, transport and healthcare sectors Why it matters: Technological and transport make the modifiers in the sector list grammatically parallel.
- 4. Use natural metaphor Original: the skeleton of success Suggested revision: the foundation of success Why it matters: Foundation is the conventional metaphor for the basis of success.
- 5. Add introductory comma Original: In the agricultural field adequate Suggested revision: In the agricultural field, adequate Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory phrase from the main clause.
- 6. Correct training collocation Original: training of a variety of seeds, fertilisers and antibiotics Suggested revision: training in the use of a variety of seeds, fertilisers and antibiotics Why it matters: People receive training in the use of materials, not training of the materials themselves.
- 7. Correct noun phrase Original: serve the need of country Suggested revision: meet the country's needs Why it matters: Meet the country's needs is the natural collocation and requires a possessive form.
- 8. Correct demand collocation Original: fetch good demand Suggested revision: command strong demand Why it matters: Products command strong demand rather than fetch demand.
- 9. Use correct food phrase Original: independent for food Suggested revision: self-sufficient in food Why it matters: Self-sufficient in food accurately expresses independence from external food supplies.
- 10. Use indefinite article Original: The advanced healthcare system Suggested revision: An advanced healthcare system Why it matters: The sentence introduces a general type of healthcare system, so it requires an rather than the.
- 11. Improve prevention collocation Original: awareness and practice of preventive measures Suggested revision: awareness and use of preventive measures Why it matters: Use of preventive measures is more natural than practice of measures.
- 12. Correct education preposition Original: education of hygiene and sanitation Suggested revision: education about hygiene and sanitation Why it matters: Education about a subject is the appropriate prepositional pattern here.
Suggested Rewrites
- limit itself only to consist only of
- attains perfection or highest position achieves excellence or a leading position
- economic, agricultural, defence, technology, transportation and healthcare sectors economic, agricultural, defence, technological, transport and healthcare sectors
- the skeleton of success the foundation of success
- In the agricultural field adequate In the agricultural field, adequate
- training of a variety of seeds, fertilisers and antibiotics training in the use of a variety of seeds, fertilisers and antibiotics
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear pro-education position and uses several relevant sectors to show how knowledge and skills can support national development. Its main limitation is that some links are asserted through lists or imprecise examples, while the alternative factors are named but not weighed against education in enough depth. The priority is to build fewer examples more fully and explicitly explain why education is more decisive than leadership, resources, or investment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant examples from agriculture, healthcare, industry, and civic behaviour, though development is uneven.
Compare education directly with one or two alternative development factors and explain why it remains the most important rather than merely listing alternatives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and the main argument is easy to follow, but some transitions and list-heavy passages weaken the flow within paragraphs.
Use each body paragraph to develop one focused cause-and-effect chain, and reserve contrast markers such as however for genuine contrasts.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a sufficient range for discussing development, but recurring collocational imprecision reduces accuracy and naturalness.
Improve combinations such as training in seed varieties, meet the country’s needs, self-sufficient in food, and education about hygiene.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the argument clearly, although article, agreement, plural, and clause-control errors recur.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and article control in long sentences, especially with compound subjects such as manufacturing, transportation, and information technology.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Education is the single most important factor in the development of developing countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.