Most countries are sending criminals to prison. Some people believe that education would be a better solution to crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In most parts of the world, prison is the main tool used to punish criminals. However, some believe that education is a better way to prevent crime. I fully agree with this view, as I believe education targets the root causes of criminal behaviour more effectively than punishment does.
Sending people to prison may protect society in the short term, but it often fails to prevent reoffending. Many prisoners leave jail with no better skills, knowledge, or support than when they entered. In fact, prisons can expose inmates to further violence, mental health problems, and criminal networks. Without access to education or job training, ex-offenders may struggle to find work and return to crime simply to survive. In this sense, prison becomes a revolving door, rather than a solution.
In contrast, education gives people a chance to change their path. For those at risk of committing crime, especially young people from disadvantaged backgrounds, access to quality education can provide hope, purpose, and opportunity. Even within the prison system, educational programs have been shown to lower reoffending rates. People who study while incarcerated often develop new skills and gain confidence, which helps them reintegrate into society. This is particularly evident in countries like Norway, which focus more on rehabilitation and education than punishment, as they consistently have low crime and reoffending rates.
In conclusion, while imprisonment may be necessary for dangerous offenders, education is a far more effective long-term solution to crime. It not only prevents people from committing crimes in the first place, but also helps them rebuild their lives after conviction. Therefore, I strongly believe that governments should invest more in education as a key part of their crime prevention strategies.
This is a clear, well-developed essay that would likely achieve a Band 8 or higher.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise phrase Original: the main tool used to punish criminals Suggested revision: the primary means of punishing criminals Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural and precise in a formal discussion of criminal justice.
- 2. Clarify skill development Original: leave jail with no better skills Suggested revision: leave jail without having gained useful skills Why it matters: The revision states more clearly that prisoners have not developed employable skills.
- 3. Choose clearer wording Original: further Suggested revision: additional Why it matters: “Additional” more clearly describes extra exposure to violence during imprisonment.
- 4. Remove unnecessary comma Original: prison becomes a revolving door, rather than a solution Suggested revision: prison becomes a revolving door rather than a solution Why it matters: No comma is needed before “rather than” when it directly contrasts the two complements.
- 5. Refine vague wording Original: change their path Suggested revision: change direction Why it matters: This concise expression conveys the intended change in a person’s life more naturally.
- 6. Keep spelling consistent Original: programs Suggested revision: programmes Why it matters: British spelling is more consistent with the earlier use of “behaviour.”
- 7. Clarify the result Original: which helps them reintegrate Suggested revision: helping them reintegrate Why it matters: The participial form clearly presents reintegration as the result of developing skills and confidence.
- 8. Strengthen the connection Original: , as they consistently have low crime and reoffending rates Suggested revision: and consistently have low crime and reoffending rates Why it matters: The revision coordinates the two characteristics instead of implying an unclear causal relationship.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: crimes Suggested revision: crime Why it matters: The uncountable form “crime” is more natural when referring to criminal activity generally.
- 10. Remove the meta-comment Original: This is a clear, well-developed essay that would likely achieve a Band 8 or higher. Why it matters: This sentence evaluates the response instead of advancing the essay’s argument and should be deleted.
Suggested Rewrites
- the main tool used to punish criminals the primary means of punishing criminals
- leave jail with no better skills leave jail without having gained useful skills
- further additional
- prison becomes a revolving door, rather than a solution prison becomes a revolving door rather than a solution
- change their path change direction
- programs programmes
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position, sustained through a logical comparison of imprisonment and education with relevant explanation. Its main limitation is that some support, especially the reference to Norway, remains broad, while the final self-evaluative sentence is irrelevant to the task. Prioritise developing the evidence more precisely and end with the conclusion itself rather than commentary about the essay’s likely result.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, maintains a clear position, and develops both prevention and rehabilitation arguments effectively.
Support the Norway example with a more precise explanation and remove the irrelevant final self-assessment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress smoothly through a clear introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a focused conclusion, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Make the transition from the general benefits of education to the prison-based example even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise, with effective expressions such as root causes, reoffending, criminal networks, and reintegrate.
Refine broad wording such as quality education and low crime by choosing language that specifies the mechanism or outcome.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Continue refining punctuation choices, such as avoiding an unnecessary comma before rather than in the second body paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most countries are sending criminals to prison. Some people believe that education would be a better solution to crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.