Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor for the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Everything has two sides and education system is not an exception. In the past it seemed like the most natural way of developing country but nowadays people criticize it. On the one hand, education system is one best way of teaching students about the factor to develop country. It helps students to know more about the country's poor sides and teaches them how to solve or promote drawbacks of the country. For example, nowadays in all developed country's universities include lessons which contain the country's development plans or ways. On the other hand, many people believe that developed economy contributes the promotion of the country. It is proven that in some country’s education system is not increased but the countries’ development rate is so high, such as India. What we drive from these facts is that if country establishes proper economy system, it means this country begins to develop. If country’s economic rate is not chosen properly that it is impossible to increase any field of the country, because economic increase will face the country with the world. Moreover, established suitable policy means developed country. Some countries, nowadays, is being run by true and successful policy, because opposide side may lead to the some kind of problems, such as citizen battles and country cannot afford to stabilise its education system, as without peace it is impossible to increase or choose complementary education. It is proven in many countries or from many years that if one country is run with unsuitable policy it brings to country’s disappearance or separation. For example, in the history it is visible that some countries were separated by their unnecessary policy, not their unproper education In, education system, in my opinion, is part of development of the country, while, without economy and policy it is not possible to support promotion to the country.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and idiom Original: education system is not an exception Suggested revision: the education system is no exception Why it matters: A singular countable system needs an article, and the standard expression is 'is no exception'.
- 2. Add article and comma Original: developing country but nowadays Suggested revision: developing a country, but nowadays Why it matters: Country needs an article, and the contrasting clause should be separated with a comma.
- 3. Fix superlative structure Original: education system is one best way Suggested revision: the education system is one of the best ways Why it matters: Use 'one of the' before a plural noun in this superlative structure.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: about the factor to develop country Suggested revision: about factors that contribute to a country's development Why it matters: The replacement expresses the intended relationship with natural academic wording.
- 5. Choose precise noun Original: country's poor sides Suggested revision: country's weaknesses Why it matters: 'Weaknesses' is the natural term for a country's areas of difficulty.
- 6. Correct verb choice Original: solve or promote drawbacks Suggested revision: address or overcome drawbacks Why it matters: Drawbacks can be addressed or overcome, whereas they are not normally promoted.
- 7. Fix plural possession Original: in all developed country's universities Suggested revision: universities in all developed countries Why it matters: The phrase refers to universities across multiple developed countries, so the plural construction is required.
- 8. Use specific term Original: ways Suggested revision: strategies Why it matters: 'Strategies' conveys planned methods more precisely than the vague noun 'ways'.
- 9. Fix article and preposition Original: developed economy contributes the promotion of the country Suggested revision: a developed economy contributes to a country's progress Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article, and 'contributes' takes the preposition 'to'.
- 10. Fix number and tense Original: in some country’s education system is not increased Suggested revision: in some countries the education system has not improved Why it matters: The plural setting and present-perfect verb form make the comparison grammatical and clear.
- 11. Clarify pronoun agreement Original: the countries’ development rate is so high Suggested revision: their development rate is very high Why it matters: The possessive pronoun clearly refers back to the countries without an awkward noun phrase.
- 12. Fix articles and form Original: if country establishes proper economy system Suggested revision: if a country establishes a sound economic system Why it matters: The countable nouns need articles, and 'economic' is the adjective required before 'system'.
Suggested Rewrites
- education system is not an exception the education system is no exception
- developing country but nowadays developing a country, but nowadays
- education system is one best way the education system is one of the best ways
- about the factor to develop country about factors that contribute to a country's development
- country's poor sides country's weaknesses
- solve or promote drawbacks address or overcome drawbacks
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response does identify a relevant position and considers education alongside economic and political factors, giving it a recognizable argumentative direction. Its main limitation is that supporting claims are vague or difficult to follow, while frequent language errors blur key relationships between ideas. The highest priority is to build two clearly separated, fully explained reasons with specific evidence and express each causal link in simpler, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the claim and ultimately presents a relevant view that education is only one factor in national development.
State the position in the introduction and develop each alternative factor with a precise explanation and credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a recognizable sequence, but it is presented as one block and several transitions do not clarify the logical relationship between claims.
Use separate paragraphs for education, the economy, and policy, with clear topic sentences and fewer mechanical linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is some vocabulary for discussing development, economics, and government, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce clarity.
Prefer familiar, precise combinations such as economic growth, effective policy, and national development, and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, possessives, and clause construction often strain meaning.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then check each one for a subject, correct verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor for the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.