Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students’ education or would it be an unnecessary complication?
Sample Response
Several schools around the world insist that all students should bring their own private laptop to class to assist in their education. Technology has become a significant component of educating children and is considered beneficial in many ways. Nonetheless, there are likewise many disadvantages to using private technological equipment in classrooms.
Bringing a private laptop to class offers a variety of benefits for students. Firstly, laptops can be used to take notes in classes where teachers sometimes speak at a high speed. Many children find that they can type faster than they can write by hand and therefore prefer typing their notes in class so as to not miss any important information. Teachers could furthermore make use of learning programs and websites during class, as students would have the possibility of using these websites on their private laptops. Moreover, students can use periods meant for working on assignments effectively, because they can work on their assignments digitally right away and not have to type up handmade notes later on. Information can additionally be distributed more easily to students, as for example hand-outs can simply be emailed or shared electronically and do not have to be printed.
Although bringing private laptops to class offers these various advantages, it also creates several disadvantages. Laptops firstly are fairly expensive, meaning that families with more than one child will have to spend a large amount of money to purchase laptops for all their children. Furthermore, laptops can easily be damaged during class and outside of class as well as stolen, which could create future costs for families. During class laptops can also distract students, because they can surf the Internet or look at non-class-related work during class periods. The amount of time students are exposed to technological equipment is also increased by incorporating laptops into classrooms, which can result in several health-related problems.
In conclusion, bringing a private laptop to class involves several advantages and disadvantages. Nonetheless, I personally believe that if used wisely, a laptop is an extremely useful tool in lessons and therefore I would support this initiative.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: own private laptop Suggested revision: own laptop Why it matters: Own already shows that the laptop is personal, so private is unnecessary here.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: significant component of educating children Suggested revision: significant part of children's education Why it matters: This noun phrase is more idiomatic and direct.
- 3. Streamline the transition Original: likewise Suggested revision: also Why it matters: Also fits the additive meaning more naturally after the contrast marker.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: speak at a high speed Suggested revision: speak quickly Why it matters: Speak quickly is the more natural collocation for delivery rate.
- 5. Correct infinitive order Original: so as to not miss Suggested revision: so as not to miss Why it matters: Not normally precedes to in this purpose construction.
- 6. Use a natural linker Original: furthermore Suggested revision: also Why it matters: Also connects this benefit more smoothly to the preceding point.
- 7. Make the wording direct Original: would have the possibility of using Suggested revision: could use Why it matters: The shorter modal construction expresses the same possibility more clearly.
- 8. Position the linker clearly Original: Laptops firstly are Suggested revision: Firstly, laptops are Why it matters: Placing the sequencing adverb first makes the progression easier to follow.
- 9. Add the introductory comma Original: During class laptops Suggested revision: During class, laptops Why it matters: A comma should separate this introductory phrase from the main clause.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: look at non-class-related work Suggested revision: access non-class-related material Why it matters: Access material describes the distracting laptop activity more naturally.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Moreover, students can use periods meant for working on assignments effectively, because they can work on their assignments digitally right away and not have to type up handmade notes later on. Suggested revision: Moreover, students can use assignment periods effectively because they can work digitally straight away instead of typing up handwritten notes later. Why it matters: The revision fixes awkward modifier placement and removes repeated wording.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Furthermore, laptops can easily be damaged during class and outside of class as well as stolen, which could create future costs for families. Suggested revision: Furthermore, laptops can easily be damaged or stolen either in or outside class, which could create future costs for families. Why it matters: The parallel structure makes the two risks and their locations unambiguous.
Suggested Rewrites
- own private laptop own laptop
- significant component of educating children significant part of children's education
- likewise also
- speak at a high speed speak quickly
- so as to not miss so as not to miss
- furthermore also
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, thorough development of practical educational benefits and credible complications, followed by an explicit final judgement. Its main limitation is occasional repetition and slightly unnatural phrasing, which reduces the precision of an otherwise fluent argument. Prioritise more concise expression and sharper lexical choices while retaining the effective structure and detailed support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly examines the educational advantages and complications and supports a clear final position with well-developed reasons.
Make the concluding judgement slightly more evaluative by explaining why the benefits outweigh the identified risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised, and each paragraph advances a distinct stage of the argument with clear internal progression.
Reduce repeated references to ‘during class’ and ‘laptops’ so that links between ideas feel less conspicuous.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide and topic-appropriate, with only occasional awkward combinations such as ‘handmade notes’ and ‘private technological equipment.’
Choose more idiomatic academic collocations, such as ‘handwritten notes’ and ‘personal devices,’ to improve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor awkwardness in a few constructions.
Refine clause placement in sentences using phrases such as ‘as for example’ to make complex structures more natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students’ education or would it be an unnecessary complication?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.