Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Sample Response
Some people find academic degrees or other training essential milestones for future success, while others believe that this does not guarantee future success and there are other relevant factors just as crucial. Personally, I take the opinion that success is not guaranteed. On the one hand, gaining educational qualifications is certainly a method with which to gain success in certain areas of life. With regards to a career, it makes a person more competitive as employers will generally seek people who are well-qualified for the best and most richly rewarded positions in their company. This is true for all types of work, be it as an accountant or lawyer or work in the building trade. It can also be viewed as bringing success in terms of one’s own development, as for some people gaining more educational qualifications is not for work but instead leads to a sense of personal accomplishment and fulfillment. On the other hand, it is not certain that success will follow. In terms of work, many people study hard to become well-qualified but then fail to reach the heights of success that they expected. This is because in today’s world there is a high level of competition for many jobs and a high number of graduates or qualified people. Not only this, there are other skills needed aside from qualifications. ‘People skills’ are also very important and so regardless of the level of qualifications, those who cannot get along well with others may be less likely to achieve the success they desire. In my opinion, therefore, educational qualifications can bring success in life for many people, yet there are no guarantees this will be the case. Other factors such as the current job market and personal skills are also factors of importance.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural expression Original: take the opinion Suggested revision: am of the opinion Why it matters: The standard expression is 'be of the opinion,' rather than 'take the opinion.'
- 2. Improve collocation Original: a method with which to gain success Suggested revision: a means of achieving success Why it matters: This replacement expresses the idea more naturally and concisely.
- 3. Fix fixed phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The formal fixed expression is 'with regard to' in the singular.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: richly rewarded positions Suggested revision: highly paid positions Why it matters: Positions are more naturally described as highly paid than richly rewarded.
- 5. Make forms parallel Original: be it as an accountant or lawyer or work in the building trade Suggested revision: whether in accounting, law, or the building trade Why it matters: The items in this list need parallel grammatical forms.
- 6. Clarify the subject Original: It can also be viewed as bringing success Suggested revision: Educational qualifications can also bring success Why it matters: Naming the subject directly removes the vague pronoun and wordy passive construction.
- 7. Clarify cause Original: as for some people gaining Suggested revision: because some people pursue Why it matters: The causal conjunction and active verb make the relationship grammatically clear.
- 8. Fix sentence structure Original: not for work but instead leads Suggested revision: not for work; instead, gaining them leads Why it matters: The original coordination gives the singular verb no clear grammatical subject.
- 9. Use accurate linker Original: Not only this Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: 'Moreover' adds a related point without requiring a matching 'but also' structure.
- 10. Use direct structure Original: there are other skills needed aside from qualifications Suggested revision: other skills are needed in addition to qualifications Why it matters: The direct passive construction is clearer and more formal.
- 11. Avoid wordiness Original: are also factors of importance Suggested revision: are also important Why it matters: The shorter adjective form conveys the same meaning more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- take the opinion am of the opinion
- a method with which to gain success a means of achieving success
- regards regard
- richly rewarded positions highly paid positions
- be it as an accountant or lawyer or work in the building trade whether in accounting, law, or the building trade
- It can also be viewed as bringing success Educational qualifications can also bring success
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, well-developed treatment of both perspectives, supported by a clear and consistently maintained opinion. Its main limitation is that some support remains general and a few expressions are slightly awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to make the examples more concrete and precise so that the otherwise persuasive reasoning becomes even more compelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed, the writer’s position is clear throughout, and the main ideas receive relevant explanation.
Add a specific real-world illustration to make one of the broadly stated arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through contrasting views and uses cohesive devices effectively without obscuring the argument.
Vary a few recurring organisational phrases to make the progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as those describing career success so that every collocation sounds fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the occasional lapse does not impede communication.
Polish minor parallelism and preposition choices during proofreading to improve precision further.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.