Many people say that movies and TV programmes affect us negatively while others say that they are two influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us?
Sample Response
There has been tremendous growth of entertainment media over the last few years. Media influenced numerous people and it becomes an essential part of their life. Some people argue that media is spoiling youngster badly due to the severe violence that is being used on TV programmes and films. However, others state that it keeps us updated with the latest news and a source of entertainment for many. I strongly believe that media has undeniable benefits on people lives. Media play a vital role in easing our stress and tension. Nowadays people are busy in their hectic routine work, they get very less time for recreational activities. Movies and television provide best sources of entertainment and help us to become refreshed and informed, relaxed and energetic for our future work. In addition to this television also provide news and other informative programs which create awareness and enhance our knowledge. However, youngsters are negatively affected by the violence and aggression shown in movies and dramas. They have become less patience and more susceptible to violence. This has also increased the crime rate in the society. People want to act like their favourite celebrity in real life, which cause many problems. For Instance, people start fighting over a small dispute which could turn into a battlefield on a later stage. Fashion and style that youngsters often follow because of their favourite actor or actress are often unacceptable in many societies. In conclusion, I believe that we should use media as a fun activity rather than highlight its negative aspects. It is also recommended to remove violence. Finally, movies and TV has more positive effects and should be the mandatory part of everyone lives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the growth preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The standard collocation for expansion within a field is 'growth in'.
- 2. Fix the preposition and possessive Original: benefits on people lives Suggested revision: benefits for people's lives Why it matters: Benefits are 'for' people, and the plural possessive form is 'people's'.
- 3. Add the introductory comma Original: Nowadays people Suggested revision: Nowadays, people Why it matters: The introductory adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 4. Use natural work collocations Original: in their hectic routine Suggested revision: with their hectic Why it matters: People are 'busy with' their work, so the preposition and redundant 'routine' should be corrected.
- 5. Repair the comma splice Original: work, they get Suggested revision: work, so they have Why it matters: The coordinating conjunction links the clauses correctly, and 'have time' is the natural expression.
- 6. Use the uncountable quantifier Original: less Suggested revision: little Why it matters: The uncountable noun 'time' takes 'little', not 'less', in this absolute comparison.
- 7. Use a complete noun phrase Original: best Suggested revision: excellent Why it matters: The superlative 'best' would require 'the', while 'excellent sources' fits the general claim directly.
- 8. Create a parallel list Original: help us to become refreshed and informed, relaxed and energetic Suggested revision: help us feel refreshed, informed, relaxed and energetic Why it matters: The revision uses one linking verb and a parallel series of adjectives.
- 9. Fix the linker and agreement Original: In addition to this television also provide Suggested revision: In addition, television also provides Why it matters: The introductory linker needs a comma, and the singular subject requires 'provides'.
- 10. Use the awareness collocation Original: programs which create awareness Suggested revision: programmes that raise awareness Why it matters: Information programmes 'raise awareness', which is the standard collocation.
- 11. Use the adjective form Original: patience Suggested revision: patient Why it matters: The verb phrase 'have become' requires the adjective 'patient'.
- 12. Remove the unnecessary article Original: the crime rate in the society Suggested revision: the crime rate in society Why it matters: 'Society' is used generically here and does not take 'the'.
Suggested Rewrites
- of in
- benefits on people lives benefits for people's lives
- Nowadays people Nowadays, people
- in their hectic routine with their hectic
- work, they get work, so they have
- less little
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant coverage of both beneficial effects, such as relaxation and information, and harmful influences involving violence, imitation, and social behaviour. Its main limitation is that frequent grammatical errors and the absence of paragraphing weaken clarity and control; the highest-priority improvement is to organise positive and negative effects into separate sections and edit every sentence for agreement, articles, and complete clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses positive and negative effects with relevant examples, though several claims are generalised and only partly explained.
Develop the causal links carefully, especially how violent content might influence behaviour, without presenting unsupported claims as facts.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from benefits to harms and a conclusion is understandable, but one continuous paragraph and mechanical transitions weaken organisation.
Use distinct paragraphs for the introduction, positive effects, negative effects, and conclusion, each with a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss entertainment, information, violence, and behaviour, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Correct expressions such as “affects people’s lives,” “less patient,” and “a source of entertainment,” and avoid vague repetition of “media.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms communicates the main meaning, but agreement, article, tense, possessive, and comma-splice errors recur throughout.
Check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries first, then review plural and possessive noun forms systematically.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that movies and TV programmes affect us negatively while others say that they are two influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.