Nowadays information can be accessed on electronic devices so print media like magazine and newspapers are not important and people should use electronic devices to get information. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Sample Response
In the modern world, people want to get information about the every aspect of life easily and instantly. With the advancement in technology, an individual can access the information through electronic devices like computer, mobile phones, the internet etc. and thus the print media is losing its popularity. I agree with this statement that people should adopt the new technology and use electronic devices to get information rather than old ways of getting them. Multifarious points are there to prove my view. Firstly, accessing information in a computer with internet connection is very fast and convenient. People just need to enter a keyword in the search engine such as Google and the information can be assessed instantly from various reliable sources with detailed references. Secondly, individual have the opportunity to get different views regarding one particular subject which help them to broaden their horizons. Thirdly, today everybody wants to live a comfortable lifestyle and they have no need to carry other things and no need to pay extra on print media. Finally, the information presented in a print media becomes outdated soon while the information on the internet gets updated regularly. So accessing information from electronic sources is more reliable and accurate. On the other hand, some people ponder that magazines and newspapers play an essential role because elder people do not know the 'ABC' about electronic gadgets so they are unable to use them to access information. They also add the logic that, on the internet, English is a staple language but some part of the population is not familiar with English which is really tough to understand for them. Finally, they assert that newspapers, magazines and books are printed in each language which provides them with a comfortable way of accessing them. In a nutshell, I would like to conclude that government should organise awareness program for elders how they can use electronic devices because we all need to live in a modern society. The old way of accessing information would not be feasible in near future and people would mainly rely on the electronic device to get them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect article Original: the every aspect Suggested revision: every aspect Why it matters: The determiner 'every' does not take the definite article here.
- 2. Clarify example list Original: like computer, mobile phones, the internet etc. and thus Suggested revision: such as computers, mobile phones and the internet; consequently, Why it matters: This revision fixes the singular noun, removes the redundant 'etc.', and clearly links the result.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural noun 'media' requires the plural verb 'are'.
- 4. Use precise reference Original: rather than old ways of getting them Suggested revision: rather than traditional ways of obtaining it Why it matters: The revision uses more precise wording and correctly refers to uncountable 'information'.
- 5. Fix preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: Information is conventionally accessed 'on' a computer.
- 6. Add article Original: with internet connection Suggested revision: with an internet connection Why it matters: The singular countable phrase requires the article 'an'.
- 7. Correct word choice Original: the information can be assessed Suggested revision: information can be accessed Why it matters: 'Accessed' means retrieved, whereas 'assessed' means evaluated.
- 8. Fix number agreement Original: individual Suggested revision: individuals Why it matters: The plural verb 'have' requires a plural subject in this general statement.
- 9. Fix relative-clause agreement Original: help Suggested revision: helps Why it matters: The relative pronoun refers to the singular noun 'opportunity', so the verb must be singular.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: no need to pay extra on print media Suggested revision: no need to spend extra money on print media Why it matters: English uses 'spend money on' rather than 'pay extra on' in this context.
- 11. Remove incorrect article Original: in a print media Suggested revision: in print media Why it matters: 'Media' is plural here and cannot follow the singular article 'a'.
- 12. Use correct adjective Original: elder Suggested revision: older Why it matters: 'Older people' is the natural expression for people of advanced age.
Suggested Rewrites
- the every aspect every aspect
- like computer, mobile phones, the internet etc. and thus such as computers, mobile phones and the internet; consequently,
- is are
- rather than old ways of getting them rather than traditional ways of obtaining it
- in on
- with internet connection with an internet connection
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and offers several relevant reasons for preferring electronic access, with the contrast involving older and non-English-speaking users adding useful scope. Its main limitation is that many points are asserted briefly or generally, while repetitive signposting and the absence of clear paragraph breaks weaken the presentation. Prioritise grouping the argument into focused paragraphs and developing fewer claims with specific explanation or examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant reasons and counterpoints are presented, although some are only briefly developed or overgeneralised.
Develop two or three central reasons more fully with specific explanation or examples instead of listing numerous claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses through recognisable stages, but mechanical sequencing and the lack of clear paragraph breaks weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, supporting reasons, counterargument, and conclusion into focused paragraphs with less repetitive signposting.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range for discussing technology and media, but recurrent collocation and word-choice problems reduce precision.
Use more natural combinations such as accessing information online, paying for print media, and the dominant language, while checking word form and reference.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, though frequent article, agreement, plural, and preposition errors remain noticeable.
Edit systematically for articles and subject-verb agreement, especially around singular countable nouns and references to people or devices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays information can be accessed on electronic devices so print media like magazine and newspapers are not important and people should use electronic devices to get information. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.