Top level authorities of a company should always take employees’ suggestions or ideas to take any decisions.
Sample Response
In today's competitive world, it has become essential for all organisations to do their best in every sphere of their business. Innovations and new ideas have become, somewhat indispensable to be able to remain as a part of the competition. Now, the question is who in the organisation should take part in making the business survive? One group of people think that it should be the higher management, whereas, another group of thought believes people across all levels should be encouraged to give their ideas where ever possible. It is a fact that people working in the particular area know the ins and outs of the processes involved to perform that job. He is the best person to come out with ideas which can provide a higher output for the organisation in that particular area. For this reason, in many manufacturing houses labourers are given incentives for each new idea they come up with. Such companies value the thoughts of its each and every employee. On the other hand, there are companies which believe that it should be the duty of only the higher management to come up with innovations and decisions. Management has a belief that taking ideas and suggestion from everybody would only lead to chaos. Employees may provide suggestion having a personal interest, which could be harmful to the company. Innovations and ideas are something which has brought us to this technologically developed world. Perhaps, it has been accepted by all by now. An organisation can only flourish well where its employees are given the freedom to innovate and rewarded for the same. Top level management should be smart enough to judge its plausibility of implementation, as the final decision has to be taken by them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove semantic overlap Original: Innovations and new ideas Suggested revision: Innovative ideas Why it matters: Innovations and new ideas overlap in meaning, so a single precise phrase is clearer.
- 2. Remove the misplaced comma Original: become, somewhat indispensable Suggested revision: become somewhat indispensable Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the verb from its adverbial complement.
- 3. Use the natural phrase Original: remain as a part of the competition Suggested revision: remain competitive Why it matters: Remain competitive expresses the intended business position directly and naturally.
- 4. Improve the collocation Original: making the business survive Suggested revision: ensuring the business survives Why it matters: Ensure that a business survives is the natural construction.
- 5. Match the singular subject Original: think Suggested revision: thinks Why it matters: The head noun group is singular and requires thinks.
- 6. Remove the comma Original: whereas, another Suggested revision: whereas another Why it matters: Whereas should not be separated from the clause it introduces by a comma.
- 7. Add that and at Original: believes people across all levels Suggested revision: believes that people at all levels Why it matters: The reporting verb needs a that-clause, and at all levels is the natural prepositional phrase.
- 8. Use one word Original: where ever possible Suggested revision: wherever possible Why it matters: Wherever is written as a single word in this meaning.
- 9. Use the indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The area is introduced generally rather than referring to one already identified.
- 10. Correct the verb pattern Original: processes involved to perform that job Suggested revision: processes involved in performing that job Why it matters: Involved is followed by in and a gerund when describing participation in a process.
- 11. Correct the phrasal verb Original: out Suggested revision: up Why it matters: Come up with means devise, whereas come out with does not fit this meaning.
- 12. Use a direct verb Original: provide a higher output Suggested revision: increase output Why it matters: Increase output expresses the intended result more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- Innovations and new ideas Innovative ideas
- become, somewhat indispensable become somewhat indispensable
- remain as a part of the competition remain competitive
- making the business survive ensuring the business survives
- think thinks
- whereas, another whereas another
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a relevant discussion of employee input and managerial authority, supports both perspectives, and ends with a clear position that staff should contribute while management retains final responsibility. Its main weakness is presentation as one continuous paragraph, which obscures the argumentative stages, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and edit agreement, pronoun, and noun-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The central issue is addressed with relevant reasons for employee participation, a counterargument, and a clear qualified position.
Develop the concern about self-interested suggestions more fully by explaining how managerial review can mitigate that risk.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a broadly logical sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks makes the organisation difficult to see at a glance.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, employee-input case, management counterargument, and final position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but awkward combinations and imprecise expressions occur repeatedly.
Replace phrases such as group of thought and come out with ideas with more natural academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, although agreement, pronoun, article, plural, and punctuation errors recur.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and consistent singular-plural reference, especially around employees, companies, ideas, and suggestions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Top level authorities of a company should always take employees’ suggestions or ideas to take any decisions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.