Some people are reducing their walks, however, many health experts say that walking is the best exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances?
Sample Response
Since ancient times, the fundamental principle for remaining fitprinciple to remain fit and live a healthy life is to dois in doing physical exerciseexercises regularly. These exercises not only help in attaining a good physique but also improvebut it also improves the metabolism and blood circulation in the body. According to health professionals, walking daily is highly beneficial for maintaining healthstrolling daily has a great value in maintaining health but for the past few years, somefew people have either reduced the amount they walkreduced their walk or quit it completely. This essay will analyse what has led to this trendwhat lead to this cause and what factors can encourage people to increase their walking distancesyards.
People are walking less for many reasonsdue to many reasons but primarily it is due to the abundance of both public and private transportthe availability of transport either public or private is abundance. They believe that by using transporttransportation they can save their valuable time. Weather also plays a significant role and people find it really hard to walk in hot, humid, or extremely cold weatherhot, humid and extreme cold climatic conditions. Moreover, they say that because of the increased rate of street crimedue to increased rate of street crimes they have either shortened their walk or quit it completely. Furthermore, people now have access to fitness centres where they can use different equipment and machinery to walk or jog. For them walking alone in the streetswalking alone on streets without a partner is a boring activity.
In order to encourage and motivate people to walk more, walking tracks can be builtone can make walking tracks with shadecovered with shades to reduce heat. Walking tracks should be made more beautiful by improving the landscape of the parks so that walkers feel refreshedsuch that one should feel refreshing. Advertisement boards should be in place and different activities should be planned to make walking a splendid experience. The government should also hold health awareness programs and should emphasise the importance of walkingwalk.
To recapitulate, the aforementioned highlights different factors resulting in reduced walk and suggested few recommendations how things can be improved. It is medically proven that walking is a very good exercise to maintain a well-balanced physiqueacquire right balance in body structure and one should do it regularly.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear coverage of both why people walk less and practical ways to encourage more walking. Its main limitation is that many points are listed briefly, while recurring awkward wording and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to select fewer key reasons and solutions, then develop each with a specific explanation while proofreading sentence structure and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly with several relevant reasons and practical suggestions, although development is sometimes brief.
Explain how the strongest proposed measures would change behaviour instead of adding several lightly developed suggestions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a logical reasons-to-solutions structure make the response easy to follow despite some mechanical linking.
Use reference and transition devices more naturally and strengthen the internal progression of the solutions paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but inaccurate collocations and word choices occur regularly.
Replace awkward phrases such as “walking yards” and “importance of walk” with natural, precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, but agreement, article, and clause errors recur.
Focus proofreading on subject-verb agreement, pronoun reference, articles, and complete sentence constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people are reducing their walks, however, many health experts say that walking is the best exercise to maintain health. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.