Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However, it is still unpopular in many countries. What are the reasons for that? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population?
Sample Response
Riding a bicycle is good for our health and it is an environment-friendly mode of transportation. However, it is still not popular in many countries. This essay will discuss some of the reasons for this drift and several suggestions to encourage more people to use bicycles. In several countries, fewer people use bicycles these days than at any time in history. This is because many people still believe that riding a bicycle is only a sporting or recreational activity, and for commuting they need to ride on buses, trains or drive their automobiles. Secondly, since many city areas do not have any dedicated bicycle lanes, people find it risky to ride bicycles in busy streets. Without the existence of a separate bicycle lane, some people think that cycling to work would be dangerous as they have to share the road with car commuters and motorcyclists. The government can contribute significantly to persuade people to ride bicycles. One of the solutions is to provide separate cycling lanes for cyclists. Sufficient bicycle lanes in a city will encourage many residents to ride it for their daily commuting. Denmark, for example, has extensive bicycling lanes and that has positively encouraged citizens to cycle whenever possible. Another solution could be encouraging and informing people by launching campaigns about the positive health and environmental effects of cycling. Finally, government officials should set examples by using it daily while commuting to their workplaces. If government authorities ride cycles to offices, it is hoped that the public will also follow the example. In conclusion, cycling is still not widely prevalent in many countries. It is because of the mindset of the people who believe that cycling is a just sport. Besides, cycling lanes are not available in their countries as well. The government should take initiatives like building dedicated cycling lanes and running awareness campaigns to convince people to ride bicycles.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate noun Original: drift Suggested revision: trend Why it matters: Trend refers clearly to the stated pattern of low bicycle use.
- 2. Fix preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: On is the standard preposition for travelling along streets.
- 3. Remove wordiness Original: Without the existence of Suggested revision: Without Why it matters: Without already expresses the absence of the bicycle lane.
- 4. Name road vehicles Original: car commuters Suggested revision: cars Why it matters: Cyclists share the road with vehicles rather than with the people commuting inside them.
- 5. Fix verb pattern Original: contribute significantly to persuade Suggested revision: help persuade Why it matters: Contribute to requires a gerund, while help persuade is direct and grammatical here.
- 6. Clarify pronoun and form Original: ride it for their daily commuting Suggested revision: cycle for their daily commute Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear pronoun and uses commute as a countable noun.
- 7. Fix relative agreement Original: and that has positively encouraged Suggested revision: which have encouraged Why it matters: The relative verb must agree with the plural noun lanes.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: using it daily Suggested revision: cycling daily Why it matters: Cycling states the intended action clearly, whereas it has an ambiguous antecedent.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: ride cycles to offices Suggested revision: cycle to work Why it matters: Cycle to work is the natural expression for this commuting action.
- 10. Correct adverb position Original: cycling is a just sport Suggested revision: cycling is just a sport Why it matters: Just must precede the noun phrase it limits.
- 11. Use standard phrasing Original: environment-friendly mode of transportation Suggested revision: environmentally friendly mode of transport Why it matters: This form is more conventional in formal academic writing.
- 12. Use precise policy noun Original: suggestions Suggested revision: measures Why it matters: Measures more precisely describes actions intended to change travel behaviour.
Suggested Rewrites
- drift trend
- in on
- Without the existence of Without
- car commuters cars
- contribute significantly to persuade help persuade
- ride it for their daily commuting cycle for their daily commute
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response directly answers both questions with relevant reasons and practical measures, and its ideas progress in a generally logical order. The main weakness is presentation as one uninterrupted paragraph, which obscures the otherwise clear shift from causes to solutions, while several awkward collocations and pronoun choices reduce precision. Divide the essay into purposeful paragraphs and refine phrasing around transport use and bicycle references.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and solutions are addressed clearly with relevant explanation and examples, although some supporting claims could be explored more precisely.
Deepen the explanation of why public attitudes deter everyday cycling and show more explicitly how awareness campaigns would change behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical causes-to-solutions sequence and uses cohesive devices appropriately, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs so each stage of the argument is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though several awkward choices and repetitions reduce lexical precision.
Replace imprecise phrases such as this drift, ride on buses, and ride it with natural, consistently referenced alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally accurate and meaning remains clear, with occasional article, pronoun, and phrasing errors.
Review article placement and pronoun reference, especially when referring back to bicycles as a plural noun.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However, it is still unpopular in many countries. What are the reasons for that? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population?
Your response
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