Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of the environment, while others think this is the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
To commence with, the government plays a vital role in maintaining the environment, such as it has the authority to make strict laws and regulations against the industries that pollute the environment. Furthermore, the government can encourage individuals to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels and educate them about the detrimental effect on the environment of these resources by organising the campaign at schools, colleges and societies.
On the other hand, It is irrefutable every inhabitant is a unique creature of nature. Therefore, it is the sole responsibility of every human being to take care of the environment. Normal people can reduce the utilisation of plastic objects that have a detrimental effect on their surroundings. Apart from this usage of cars emits carbon into the environment, which is the greenhouse gas sequent in global warming. To mitigate this problem, they can shift their demand to electric vehicles and use public transport services rather than own vehicles.
To recapitulate, however, government mitigate the environmental problems by introducing legislation. Although, the environment can be preserved in an effective way if both the government and the general public make joint efforts.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use causal connector Original: such as it has Suggested revision: because it has Why it matters: The second clause gives a reason, so 'because' expresses the relationship accurately.
- 2. Use precise collocation Original: laws and regulations against the industries Suggested revision: laws and regulations governing industries Why it matters: Regulations govern industries rather than stand against them.
- 3. Clarify noun phrase Original: the detrimental effect on the environment of these resources Suggested revision: the detrimental effects of these resources on the environment Why it matters: This places the modifying phrases clearly and uses the plural for multiple effects.
- 4. Use plural campaigns Original: organising the campaign Suggested revision: organising campaigns Why it matters: A general recurring activity requires a plural count noun without 'the'.
- 5. Fix connector and noun Original: Apart from this usage of cars Suggested revision: Apart from this, the use of cars Why it matters: The connector needs a comma, and 'the use of cars' is the grammatical noun phrase.
- 6. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: Carbon emissions are being identified as one type of greenhouse gas here.
- 7. Use correct expression Original: sequent in global warming Suggested revision: contributing to global warming Why it matters: 'Sequent in' does not express the intended causal relationship.
- 8. Use natural verb Original: shift their demand to electric vehicles Suggested revision: switch to electric vehicles Why it matters: People switch to a transport option rather than shift their demand to it.
- 9. Restore parallel structure Original: rather than own vehicles Suggested revision: rather than use their own vehicles Why it matters: The comparison needs a verb phrase parallel to 'use public transport services'.
- 10. Fix subject agreement Original: government mitigate Suggested revision: the government can mitigate Why it matters: The singular count noun needs an article and a correctly formed verb phrase.
- 11. Use complete connector Original: Although Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: 'Although' introduces a dependent clause, while this sentence states the concluding overall view.
- 12. Clarify campaign settings Original: at schools, colleges and societies Suggested revision: in schools, colleges and communities Why it matters: Campaigns take place in institutions and communities, while 'societies' is unclear here.
Suggested Rewrites
- such as it has because it has
- laws and regulations against the industries laws and regulations governing industries
- the detrimental effect on the environment of these resources the detrimental effects of these resources on the environment
- organising the campaign organising campaigns
- Apart from this usage of cars Apart from this, the use of cars
- the a
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is clearly organised around the two views and presents a definite opinion that joint action is most effective. However, at only 188 words, its relevant points are insufficiently developed, and several awkward grammatical constructions and word choices reduce precision. The highest priority is to add fuller explanation and concrete support for each side while maintaining accurate sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but the response is substantially under length and ideas receive limited development.
Extend each view with a clear consequence or example and explain why combined responsibility is preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two viewpoints are separated logically, though linking is sometimes mechanical or incorrectly punctuated and the conclusion is awkwardly connected.
Use cohesive devices more selectively and build smoother links between claims, explanations, and the final opinion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied environmental vocabulary, despite several imprecise or unnatural lexical combinations.
Improve collocational accuracy when describing campaigns, vehicle choices, greenhouse gases, and environmental consequences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors with clauses, articles, agreement, and punctuation weaken control.
Review clause completeness and agreement, especially in sentences beginning with concessive or contrast markers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of the environment, while others think this is the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.