No doubt business is done mainly to earn profits but some business ethics should also be kept in mind. what do you think is today’s businessman ethical in his practices?
Sample Response
Undoubtedly, people do business to earn profits by selling their products to customers. in the past time, people did clean and fair deals but with the passage of time, they have started following unethical methods in their trading. there are several reasons behind this trend. this will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. No doubt business is done mainly to earn profits but some business ethics
In this modern era, merchants follow unethical ways in trading. the first and foremost thing is that they indulge in adulteration. for instance, they do not make pure and genuine items and after that, they sell their products at high prices. in this way, they befool the innocent people. moreover, they do provide the necessary services to the people after selling their items and people face botheration. for instance, they give warranty of an item but if some problem occurs in that item people do not get any proper service. furthermore, they do not give wages to employees on a proper time and they have to face certain problems like shortage of money. employees are not provided with safety equipment and as a result, an incident could happen with them anytime. No doubt business is done mainly to earn profits but some business ethics
There are several reasons associated with this trend. firstly, the government set improper tax slabs for the merchants which they are unable to pay and this leads to a lack of moral values. secondly, this is the era of competition and everyone want to go ahead of each other without bothering about the ethics. this makes them materialistic and they want to go to any extent for their benefits. they only think of their own profit and in this way, they deny the welfare of their customers. No doubt business is done mainly to earn profits but some business ethics
To encapsulate, there is no doubt that everyone wants to earn an exorbitant amount of money but it should not be done by compromising with people’s happiness. their first priority should be to satisfy their needs with dedication. No doubt business is done mainly to earn profits but some business ethics
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix time phrase Original: in the past time Suggested revision: In the past Why it matters: Use the standard time expression and capitalize the sentence opening.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: people did clean and fair deals Suggested revision: people conducted honest and fair business Why it matters: Conduct business is a natural collocation, while do deals is awkward here.
- 3. Clarify business conduct Original: following unethical methods in their trading Suggested revision: using unethical business practices Why it matters: This phrase expresses the idea more precisely and naturally.
- 4. Capitalize sentence start Original: there Suggested revision: There Why it matters: A new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 5. Name the issue clearly Original: the first and foremost thing Suggested revision: The first major issue Why it matters: Thing is vague, and the replacement also corrects the sentence-opening capitalization.
- 6. Use direct wording Original: they indulge in adulteration Suggested revision: they adulterate their products Why it matters: The verb form states the business practice more directly.
- 7. Choose formal verb Original: befool Suggested revision: deceive Why it matters: Deceive is the natural formal verb for misleading customers.
- 8. Correct logical contradiction Original: they do provide the necessary services Suggested revision: they do not provide the necessary services Why it matters: The following example says customers receive no proper service, so the negative form is required.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: face botheration Suggested revision: experience inconvenience Why it matters: Face botheration is not natural standard English in this context.
- 10. Fix article and preposition Original: they give warranty of an item Suggested revision: they provide a warranty for an item Why it matters: Warranty is countable here and normally takes a, while for expresses what it covers.
- 11. Separate dependent clause Original: in that item people Suggested revision: in that item, people Why it matters: A comma is needed after the opening conditional clause.
- 12. Use pay on time Original: do not give wages to employees on a proper time Suggested revision: do not pay employees on time Why it matters: Pay employees on time is the natural and concise expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the past time In the past
- people did clean and fair deals people conducted honest and fair business
- following unethical methods in their trading using unethical business practices
- there There
- the first and foremost thing The first major issue
- they indulge in adulteration they adulterate their products
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a clear critical position and supports it with several relevant examples of unethical business conduct and its causes. However, repeated fragments from the task, mechanical progression, awkward vocabulary, and frequent grammatical errors weaken precision and flow; the highest priority is to remove copied prompt wording and develop each main idea in accurate, complete sentences with clearer logical links.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear view is maintained and supported with relevant examples, although some ideas are general and repeated task wording adds no content.
Develop the most relevant examples more fully and remove all copied fragments of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognizable introduction-body-conclusion structure, but mechanical linking and repeated prompt fragments disrupt the flow.
Use cohesive devices more selectively and create smooth transitions between complete, logically connected sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss ethics, business practices, and causes, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace unnatural phrases with precise combinations such as after-sales service, pay wages on time, and compromise people's well-being.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, despite frequent errors in capitalization, articles, agreement, and sentence control.
Proofread every sentence for capitalization and subject-verb agreement, then check article and preposition choices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
No doubt business is done mainly to earn profits but some business ethics should also be kept in mind. what do you think is today’s businessman ethical in his practices?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.