People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole?
Sample Response
Nowadays, with the advancement of modern technology people can complete their various daily needs through the Internet and mobile phones without direct interaction with people. This phenomenon has both positive as well as negative impacts on individual and the society and this essay is going to discuss these effects.
Obviously, technology ensures a productive life and has made tasks quicker and easier than ever before. We live in a hectic world and the ever growing competition in workplaces and academic institutes bound us to find out shortcuts and easier ways to complete our daily tasks. Technological advancements in our life save our valuable time and energy. For instance, people these days can pay the bills and purchase items through Internet at their own residence without commuting to anywhere. They can do banking from home, can get the advice of a doctor through phone, can book a ticket online, get professional advice via the internet and the list goes on and on. Thus the need to go out and talking with people face-to-face has greatly reduced. This has a tremendous positive effect in personal life as it allows us to have more time to spend with our family and friends.
In addition, society also benefits from modern technology. To illustrate, people can do their tasks from home and that in turn reduce the number of private cars on the streets. Fewer traffic jams and less pollution will make the cities better places to live in.
In contrast, there are some negative impacts of this trend as well. The interaction between human being has been reduced and this lead to a materialist life. Consequently, family relationship is deteriorating in some cases as people are becoming more dependent on technologies. Sedentary lifestyles lead us to have various diseases and the society will need to take the burden of more obese people. In addition, it is a burden to the society that technology is many places is increasing the unemployment rates as computers and other technologies are reducing the need for the workforce. As a result crime rate will shoot up. All in all, easiness in daily life has some disadvantages to the society and the individual.
In conclusion, performing the routine tasks easily and quickly from home with the help of technology brings a lot of benefits and people can save their important time and energy. However, this trend has some negative impacts on both the society and the people that we should be aware of.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Nowadays Suggested revision: Nowadays, Why it matters: A comma should follow this introductory adverb.
- 2. Separate introductory phrase Original: modern technology people Suggested revision: modern technology, people Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory prepositional phrase.
- 3. Fix verb collocation Original: complete their various daily needs Suggested revision: meet their various daily needs Why it matters: People meet needs rather than complete them.
- 4. Fix paired conjunction Original: both positive as well as negative Suggested revision: both positive and negative Why it matters: Both should be paired with and, not as well as.
- 5. Fix number and articles Original: on individual and the society Suggested revision: on individuals and society Why it matters: Individual needs a plural form here, while society is used without the article in this general sense.
- 6. Fix verb collocation Original: find out shortcuts Suggested revision: find shortcuts Why it matters: Find out is used for discovering information, not locating methods.
- 7. Use plural reference Original: Technological advancements in our life Suggested revision: Technological advances in our lives Why it matters: The plural possessive context requires lives.
- 8. Add required article Original: through Internet Suggested revision: via the Internet Why it matters: Internet requires the definite article in this expression.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: at their own residence Suggested revision: from home Why it matters: From home is the natural concise expression for this meaning.
- 10. Fix movement phrase Original: without commuting to anywhere Suggested revision: without travelling anywhere Why it matters: Commute does not take to before anywhere in this construction.
- 11. Punctuate transition Original: Thus the need Suggested revision: Thus, the need Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory linking adverb.
- 12. Use parallel verbs Original: to go out and talking Suggested revision: to go out and talk Why it matters: The coordinated verbs after to should use parallel base forms.
Suggested Rewrites
- Nowadays Nowadays,
- modern technology people modern technology, people
- complete their various daily needs meet their various daily needs
- both positive as well as negative both positive and negative
- on individual and the society on individuals and society
- find out shortcuts find shortcuts
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers positive and negative effects on both individuals and society, and its clear paragraph sequence makes the main argument easy to follow. The main limitation is uneven development: several later claims, especially the links from reduced interaction to materialism and from automation to crime, are asserted through rapid causal leaps. Prioritise explaining fewer effects more convincingly while correcting recurring agreement, article, and collocation errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses effects on individuals and society from both positive and negative perspectives, though several ideas remain insufficiently supported.
Select fewer negative effects and develop each causal connection with a specific explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall progression and appropriate paragraphing, although the long negative paragraph moves quickly through loosely connected claims.
Group related consequences into a more focused chain of reasoning instead of listing multiple effects in one paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient for the topic and includes some less common language, but inaccurate collocations recur throughout.
Replace awkward phrases such as find out shortcuts, materialist life, and easiness in daily life with natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and noun-form errors reduce accuracy.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and singular-plural control, especially in sentences built around this, technology, and relationships.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People can perform everyday tasks, such as shopping and banking as well as business transactions, without meeting other people face-to-face. What are the effects of this on individual and society as a whole?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.