Some think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is considered by some that doing exercise is important to improve health while some believe that balance diet is more vital. However, in my opinion, both, exercise and a balanced diet are equally essential to stay healthy, as both have benefits for the human body in different ways.
On the one hand, exercise keeps different body organs active and energetic. One has to move different body organs while doing exercise which makes body flexible, fresh and rejuvenated all the time. For instance, simple exercises like running, jogging, and skipping make our body parts move constantly, and, as a result, metabolism rate increases, blood flows easily within the veins, controls blood pressure, sugar level, and other kinds of physical ailments caused due to inactiveness.
On the other hand, balanced diet is, too, vital in providing the nutrition needed by the body. If our body lacks different vitamins, for example, vitamin A, we might face problems with our eyesight. Similarly, different body organs need various nutrients and minerals that we get from vegetables, fruits, and other sources. If we do not take sufficient amount of nutrition, then, we may suffer from malnutrition that may lead to other forms of diseases. Thus, a balanced diet is equally important to maintain healthy lifestyle
In conclusion, to maintain a healthy body, disease free, one most do exercise regularly, and include balanced diet in their meals, as well, to provide essential nutrients that the body needs to function well. In my point of view, as exercise and balanced diet aid in improving our health in different manners, we must not ignore one over the other.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use adjective form Original: balance diet Suggested revision: balanced diet Why it matters: The adjective “balanced” is needed to modify “diet.”
- 2. Remove stray comma Original: both, exercise and a balanced diet Suggested revision: both exercise and a balanced diet Why it matters: A comma should not separate “both” from the first coordinated item.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: doing exercise Suggested revision: exercising Why it matters: “Exercising” is a more concise and natural expression here.
- 4. Choose accurate noun Original: different body organs Suggested revision: different parts of the body Why it matters: The examples concern body parts generally rather than specifically internal organs.
- 5. Add the article Original: which makes body flexible Suggested revision: which makes the body flexible Why it matters: “Body” requires the definite article in this reference to the human body.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: metabolism rate Suggested revision: metabolic rate Why it matters: “Metabolic rate” is the standard collocation.
- 7. Repair verb coordination Original: controls blood pressure, sugar level, and other kinds of physical ailments Suggested revision: helps control blood pressure, blood sugar levels, and other physical ailments Why it matters: The original verb does not coordinate grammatically with the preceding subject “blood.”
- 8. Use correct expression Original: caused due to inactiveness Suggested revision: caused by inactivity Why it matters: “Caused by inactivity” uses the correct preposition and natural noun form.
- 9. Fix article and adverb Original: balanced diet is, too, vital Suggested revision: a balanced diet is also vital Why it matters: The countable noun needs an article, and “also” is placed more naturally before the adjective.
- 10. Use precise quantifier Original: different vitamins Suggested revision: certain vitamins Why it matters: “Certain” more precisely introduces the specific vitamin deficiency discussed next.
- 11. Correct the collocation Original: sufficient amount of nutrition Suggested revision: sufficient nutrients Why it matters: People obtain nutrients, whereas “an amount of nutrition” is unnatural in this context.
- 12. Remove unnecessary comma Original: then, we may Suggested revision: then we may Why it matters: The short introductory adverb does not need a comma here.
Suggested Rewrites
- balance diet balanced diet
- both, exercise and a balanced diet both exercise and a balanced diet
- doing exercise exercising
- different body organs different parts of the body
- which makes body flexible which makes the body flexible
- metabolism rate metabolic rate
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly covers both views, maintains a consistent opinion, and supports each side with relevant health examples. Its main limitation is recurring grammatical and collocational inaccuracy, especially with articles, agreement, and sentence control, which reduces precision despite generally clear meaning. Prioritise editing complex sentences for correct structure and using natural noun phrases such as ‘a balanced diet’ consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both perspectives are addressed with a clear, consistent position and relevant supporting explanations.
Develop the comparison more critically by explaining why the two approaches complement each other rather than mainly listing benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear four-paragraph progression, although some linking is mechanical and sentence-level connections are occasionally awkward.
Use referencing and logical transitions within paragraphs more precisely instead of relying heavily on set phrases such as ‘On the one hand’.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but recurring word-form and collocation problems reduce accuracy.
Practise natural health-related collocations, particularly article-and-noun combinations such as ‘a balanced diet’ and ‘a healthy lifestyle’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but frequent article, agreement, punctuation, and clause-control errors remain.
Edit each complex sentence for a clear subject and verb, accurate articles, and correctly coordinated lists and clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.