Many countries are experiencing population growth and need to build more homes. Some say that new homes should be constructed in existing cities while others argue that new towns should be built to accommodate the growing population. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these points of view?
Sample Response
In the past two decades, there has been an exponential increase in the migration of people to different cities and countries, indirectly resulting in a considerable infrastructure development. However, there has been a long-standing debate on whether to direct these infrastructure projects to current cities or establish new counties. Careful consideration of both alternatives reveals that each has its positives and negatives.
One of the major advantages of focusing on current cities for new construction is that it would benefit the residents of the cities in multiple ways. Tenants living in Vancouver would prefer to buy a newly constructed house in the city where they work rather than in a new town, to reduce their commute time. Moreover, the city has everything they desire such as efficient public transport, thriving job market and affordable healthcare. This would not be possible in new towns because of the time it takes to establish services and generate opportunities for people.
On the other hand, accommodating people in houses built in newly created towns would put them in a pollution-free and clean environment. This is because new towns may take at least 10 years of time to become an attractive spot for people and industries alike. As a result, their exposure to harmful emissions from industrial plants and transportation is reduced, shielding them from the risks of acquiring health complications. A recent report released by the word Health Organization (WHO) suggests that the number of people affected by airborne infections is 20% higher in cities compared to new towns that were formed just a couple of years ago.
In conclusion, while there are both positive and negative aspects to these views, the decision on where to build the new homes to accommodate increasing population will depend on many other factors as well. Therefore, a thorough assessment is required before starting an infrastructure project.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect article Original: a considerable infrastructure development Suggested revision: considerable infrastructure development Why it matters: Infrastructure development is used here as an uncountable general process, so the article is unnecessary.
- 2. Use precise collocation Original: direct these infrastructure projects to current cities Suggested revision: direct these infrastructure projects towards existing cities Why it matters: Towards existing cities expresses the allocation choice more naturally and matches the task wording.
- 3. Correct the place term Original: counties Suggested revision: towns Why it matters: Counties are administrative regions, whereas the response is discussing newly built towns.
- 4. Reduce repetition Original: residents of the cities Suggested revision: city residents Why it matters: The compact noun phrase avoids repeating cities while preserving the meaning.
- 5. Add missing article Original: thriving job market Suggested revision: a thriving job market Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase job market requires an article in this list.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: This would not be possible in new towns Suggested revision: These benefits would not be immediately available in new towns Why it matters: Naming the benefits makes the reference clearer than the vague pronoun This.
- 7. Avoid absolute wording Original: pollution-free and clean Suggested revision: cleaner and less polluted Why it matters: The comparative wording avoids the redundant and overly absolute description pollution-free and clean.
- 8. Remove redundant words Original: 10 years of time Suggested revision: 10 years Why it matters: The duration is expressed directly with 10 years, without of time.
- 9. Use formal wording Original: spot Suggested revision: place Why it matters: Place is more appropriate than the informal spot in this academic context.
- 10. Improve the collocation Original: risks of acquiring health complications Suggested revision: risk of developing health problems Why it matters: Developing health problems is a more natural collocation than acquiring health complications.
- 11. Correct organisation name Original: word Suggested revision: World Why it matters: Word is a spelling error in the organisation's name.
- 12. Add article Original: accommodate increasing population Suggested revision: accommodate a growing population Why it matters: Population is a singular countable noun here and needs the article a.
Suggested Rewrites
- a considerable infrastructure development considerable infrastructure development
- direct these infrastructure projects to current cities direct these infrastructure projects towards existing cities
- counties towns
- residents of the cities city residents
- thriving job market a thriving job market
- This would not be possible in new towns These benefits would not be immediately available in new towns
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest when it uses clear, concrete contrasts between established cities and new towns, with generally logical development and controlled language. Its main limitation is that the advantages and disadvantages are often implied through comparison rather than explicitly evaluated, while the conclusion remains generic; prioritise making each benefit and drawback unmistakable and ending with a concise synthesis of the central trade-offs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both approaches are addressed through relevant, supported contrasts, although some drawbacks remain implicit and the conclusion adds little synthesis.
State the principal advantage and disadvantage of each approach explicitly and weigh the trade-offs in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive links that are generally natural and easy to follow.
Use more precise internal signposting to show when a point is a benefit of one option and a drawback of the other.
Lexical Resource
A flexible range of topic vocabulary conveys ideas precisely overall, despite occasional awkward collocations and spelling slips.
Proofread word choice and collocations such as references to development, time, and health effects for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used with good control, and the occasional article or phrasing error does not impede communication.
Refine article use and noun-phrase construction, especially around general concepts such as population growth and infrastructure development.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many countries are experiencing population growth and need to build more homes. Some say that new homes should be constructed in existing cities while others argue that new towns should be built to accommodate the growing population. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these points of view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.