Some people say that new advancements in factory farming and the creation of new combinations of fruits and vegetables are not beneficial while others disagree with this opinion.
Sample Response
Technology has permeatedis permeating every realm of people’s liveshuman beings’ lives ever since its inception. This is evident incan be manifested in biotechnology used to bring about new combinationsa new combination of fruits and vegetables, and in factory farming. Some argue these practicespractice to be rewardingrewarding one, while others question the viability of these. Both points of viewviews will be analysed in this essay before reaching a reasonable conclusion.
It is widely believed by some that livestockthe livestock is kept in unsanitary and macabre conditions in many factory-farming arrangementsmany of factory farming arrangement while the use of modern fertilizers causecauses irreversibleirrecoverable damage to the environment. This was manifested by many documentaries that aired during the early 1990s, that went behind the scenes of such biotechnologically produced poultry and other edibles. For many people, this inhumane treatment of livestock is enough to keep them from consuming the factory farmed meat. Thus it is understandable whyunderstandable, why some people are vocal critics of factory farming and other similar processes.
On the other hand, some people avow thatavow, that factory farming is beneficial and for the common good of mankindthe mankind. Take, an isolated country like New Zealand, for example, for her the export of poultry produced from the poultry farms, is one of her main source of national revenue. If it wasn’t for these practices, New Zealand would probably not beprobably be not as competitive as it is today. Hence, the merits of such practices are evident from this example.
For reasons related to, fair treatment of animals, environmental footprints, and economic benefits derision, the topic of factory farming and similar processes is a contentious one. After musing upon both sides of this argument, it is felt that biotechnology will continue to be used, although the tormenting of livestock in such settings, should be admonished.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a recognizable two-sided discussion and uses relevant ethical, environmental, and economic considerations, with a reasonably clear concluding stance. Its main limitation is uneven task coverage: the discussion concentrates almost entirely on factory farming, while new fruit and vegetable combinations are scarcely developed, and language errors recur. Prioritize developing both parts of the topic with specific, well-explained support, then edit sentence boundaries, agreement, and collocations for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives and a concluding position are presented, but the response largely neglects the issue of newly created fruit and vegetable combinations.
Develop each part of the topic with a distinct, relevant argument and explain how the examples support the stated position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through an introduction, opposing views, and a conclusion, although some linking and referencing feel mechanical or imprecise.
Use clearer internal progression within paragraphs and remove unnecessary commas that interrupt connections between ideas.
Lexical Resource
A fairly wide vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, but several ambitious choices and collocations are unnatural or inaccurate.
Prefer precise, conventional expressions and check terms such as those used for economic benefits, environmental effects, and animal treatment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring errors with agreement, articles, plurals, and punctuation reduce control.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and noun form, and avoid commas between a subject, verb, or essential clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that new advancements in factory farming and the creation of new combinations of fruits and vegetables are not beneficial while others disagree with this opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.