In many countries, airplane tickets prices have dropped. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In the past, travelling to foreign countriescommuting to foreign locations was difficult due to the expense involved in travel. However, with advances in technologywith the advances in the technology, air travel was made available to travellerswas made available for the users at affordable rates. It is believed that a decline in airfaresdecline in the air fare has a positive impact on societyon the society. In this essay, we will analyse how this has boosted job opportunitiesavailabilities and contributed towards promotingdeploying peace in the world. To begin with, this kind of activity has enabled a large number of peoplecustomers to travel abroad. As a consequence, demand for employees increasesincreased in the field of tourism and thereby, job opportunities were created for people interested in this field. In other words, a decrease in the cost of air ticketsticket played a crucial role in the improvement inof employment statistics around the world. Thus, it is apparent that a drop in airfaresdrop in this fare has a direct impact on more employment opportunities for people in needthe increase in the work engagements for the needy. In addition to this, low fares allowlow fare allows people to travel abroad to fulfil their employment or education needsfor fulfilling their employment or education needs. This, in turn, allows them to get familiar with the culture of the host countryculture of hosting country and hence, helps them to develop respect for the inhabitantsrespect for inhabitants of that country. As a result, the chances of communal riots are decreased to a greater extent enabling people to live in peace. Therefore, the theory that reduced travel fares have helped individuals to stay in harmony is difficult to debunk. After analysing the areas of benefits for the society, it is clear that drop in ticket pricesdrop of ticket rate has benefited humans in various ways. As is proven that reduced airfare results in the positive outcome for the society. It is thus expected that government will put efforts to maintain the ticket prices lowtickets rates at lower so that as many travellers as possiblemaximum travellers can take advantage of the same.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear positive position and develops two relevant benefits through a logical paragraph structure, with the employment argument being particularly easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several claims, especially the link between cheaper flights and fewer communal riots, are overgeneralised, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. Prioritise more credible, specific support and revise article use, sentence structure, and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is maintained and supported by two relevant benefits, though the peace argument relies on a speculative causal chain.
Develop each benefit with a specific, credible example and qualify broad claims about cultural contact producing social harmony.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion create clear overall progression, although some linking phrases feel mechanical and the ending is repetitive.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the conclusion a concise synthesis rather than a restatement of earlier claims.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient topical range, but recurring awkward collocations such as "deploying peace" and "work engagements for the needy" reduce precision.
Choose natural word combinations and check that less common vocabulary expresses the intended meaning accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the message clearly, but errors in articles, agreement, and sentence construction occur regularly.
Proofread systematically for article use, singular-plural agreement, and incomplete constructions such as "As is proven that".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, airplane tickets prices have dropped. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.