The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The significance of parents and family versus school education in shaping a person’s future success has long been debated. While some argue that parental guidance and familial support are paramount, others contend that knowledge and skills acquired in school play a pivotal role. Personally, I believe that the role of parents and family, although crucial, should not overshadow the importance of formal education in determining future success.
To begin, parents and family undoubtedly have a profound impact on a person’s development. From an early age, children absorb values, attitudes, and behaviours from their family environment. Parents provide emotional support, nurture talents, and instil vital life skills such as resilience, discipline, and work ethic. The role of parents in nurturing confidence, fostering interpersonal skills, and encouraging personal growth cannot be understated.
However, the argument that parents and family solely determine a person’s success is flawed. School education equips individuals with essential knowledge, critical thinking abilities, and academic qualifications that form the foundation for future opportunities. Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development. Furthermore, formal education fosters independence, adaptability, and the ability to navigate challenges beyond the familial context.
In conclusion, while the role of parents and family in shaping a person’s success is undeniably important, it is equally crucial to acknowledge the vital role of formal education in preparing individuals for the challenges and opportunities they will encounter in their lives. Parents and family provide a nurturing environment, values, and life skills, while schools offer a comprehensive education, knowledge acquisition, and social growth. Therefore, a balanced approach that appreciates the significance of both aspects is the key to fostering holistic development and maximising future success.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify comparison Original: parents and family versus school education Suggested revision: parents and family relative to school education Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the comparison more naturally in an academic introduction.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: familial Suggested revision: family Why it matters: The simpler collocation is more natural and equally precise here.
- 3. Tighten wording Original: in determining future success Suggested revision: in future success Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the meaning and avoids unnecessary nominalisation.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: absorb Suggested revision: internalise Why it matters: People more naturally internalise values and behaviours than absorb them in this context.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: nurture Suggested revision: develop Why it matters: Develop is the more precise verb for helping children's talents grow.
- 6. Specify the quality Original: work ethic Suggested revision: a strong work ethic Why it matters: Adding the adjective and article makes the intended positive quality explicit.
- 7. Correct fixed expression Original: understated Suggested revision: overstated Why it matters: The fixed expression cannot be overstated means the importance is very great.
- 8. Use precise collocation Original: critical thinking abilities Suggested revision: critical-thinking skills Why it matters: Critical-thinking skills is the more concise conventional collocation.
- 9. Improve collocation Original: form the foundation for future opportunities Suggested revision: provide a foundation for future opportunities Why it matters: Provide a foundation is more idiomatic than form the foundation in this sentence.
- 10. Use concrete wording Original: a platform for social interaction and skill development Suggested revision: opportunities for social interaction and skill development Why it matters: Opportunities states the school's practical role more directly than the abstract metaphor platform.
- 11. Prefer natural wording Original: familial context Suggested revision: family environment Why it matters: Family environment is clearer and more natural in this discussion.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Parents and family provide a nurturing environment, values, and life skills, while schools offer a comprehensive education, knowledge acquisition, and social growth. Suggested revision: Parents and families provide nurturing environments, values, and life skills, while schools provide comprehensive education, academic knowledge, and opportunities for social growth. Why it matters: The rewrite improves number agreement and makes the two lists more grammatically parallel.
Suggested Rewrites
- parents and family versus school education parents and family relative to school education
- familial family
- in determining future success in future success
- absorb internalise
- nurture develop
- work ethic a strong work ethic
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a consistently clear, nuanced position and develops the complementary roles of family and education in a logical, polished structure. Its main limitation is that several points remain broad and asserted rather than supported with concrete illustration, while some wording is repetitive or formulaic. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen one key comparison with a specific, plausible example that directly demonstrates why neither influence should dominate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the comparative claim directly, sustains a clear nuanced disagreement, and develops relevant reasons for valuing both influences.
Support one central claim with a specific example that demonstrates how family influence and formal education contribute differently to success.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion that consistently reinforces the position.
Reduce repeated references to parents, family, and formal education by using tighter cross-sentence referencing where the meaning remains clear.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary supports the argument effectively, with only occasional formulaic phrasing and a minor collocational lapse.
Replace stock expressions with more exact comparative wording and revise the phrase about importance so its intended meaning is unambiguous.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately and naturally throughout, with strong control of punctuation and agreement.
Refine a few heavily layered sentences in the conclusion so their grammatical complexity remains concise as well as accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.