In many countries, family members work together in their family business. Do you think family businesses have more advantages than disadvantages?
Sample Response
In my opinion, a family businesess not less common then others types of trade like friend, sole proprietorship, partnership or corporation. Moreover relative businesses are shared in many countries. For example, in Korea it's can be street food or brands companies, In Germany— cars and bikes, and USA — manufacturing or marketing. Many of them may be like family dynasty — from grandparents to kids. However, before starting build your industry in this way it is desirable be aware in advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly, the great side of this idea it's what you can know you colective better then in other co-operetions, because it's can be your parents or other relatives. Also, your industry can be safed after more decades, because your descendants will run along your trade.
Secondly, the less positive and simple situation. More of family businesses wasn't friendly and lovely, oppossite it was unfair and even twisted. It's connect with reletionships in your household, some of them can wish more authorities and do everything for getting more shares and money. It's possibly can happens, if industry is huge and works more time. It's usually doesn't occur, if you have a little business. Another type problem can be between a chief and an employee. For example, your sister is a boss in your company and you disagree with it situation.
In consequence, we have some advantages and more disadvantages, but anyway they aren't objective and effective, because in every situation all depends by people. If you friendly family where everyone have theirselves responsibilities and goals everything will be great.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Spelling error Original: businesess Suggested revision: businesses Why it matters: Correct the spelling of 'businesses'.
- 2. Grammar error Original: then others types Suggested revision: than other types Why it matters: Use 'than' for comparisons, and 'other' (singular adjective form) before plural nouns.
- 3. Inaccurate collocation Original: relative businesses Suggested revision: family-run businesses Why it matters: 'Relative businesses' is not a natural English collocation. Use 'family-run businesses' or 'family enterprises'.
- 4. Double verb error Original: it's can be Suggested revision: they can be Why it matters: Do not combine 'is' (in 'it's') with the modal verb 'can'.
- 5. Verb pattern Original: before starting build Suggested revision: before starting to build Why it matters: The verb 'start' should be followed by an infinitive ('to build') or a gerund ('building').
- 6. Preposition error Original: desirable be aware in Suggested revision: desirable to be aware of Why it matters: The adjective 'aware' takes the preposition 'of', not 'in'.
- 7. Grammar and spelling Original: it's what you can know you colective better Suggested revision: is that you know your colleagues better Why it matters: This clause is grammatically confused. 'Colective' is misspelled and used incorrectly here.
- 8. Spelling error Original: co-operetions Suggested revision: companies Why it matters: 'Co-operetions' is misspelled and is not the correct term for standard business environments.
- 9. Incorrect word form Original: safed Suggested revision: preserved Why it matters: 'Safed' is not a valid English verb form. Use 'preserved', 'sustained', or 'kept safe'.
- 10. Subject-verb agreement Original: More of family businesses wasn't Suggested revision: Many family businesses are not Why it matters: 'Businesses' is plural, so it requires a plural verb ('are' or 'were'). Also, 'More of' is incorrect here.
- 11. Spelling error Original: oppossite Suggested revision: on the contrary, Why it matters: Correct the spelling of 'opposite' and use a proper transitional phrase.
- 12. Spelling error Original: reletionships Suggested revision: relationships Why it matters: Correct the spelling of 'relationships'.
Suggested Rewrites
- businesess businesses
- then others types than other types
- relative businesses family-run businesses
- it's can be they can be
- before starting build before starting to build
- desirable be aware in desirable to be aware of
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of family businesses. However, the final position is somewhat ambiguous and hedged ('it depends on people'), rather than clearly stating whether advantages outweigh disadvantages.
Formulate a clear, decisive thesis statement in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Avoid saying 'it depends' as your main answer to an 'outweigh' question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear four-paragraph structure. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes repetitive, mechanical, or inaccurate (e.g., 'In consequence' instead of 'In conclusion').
Use a wider range of linking words and ensure they fit the context naturally. Work on paragraph transitions to show logical progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is limited and contains frequent spelling and word choice errors (e.g., 'businesess', 'colective', 'safed', 'theirselves') which occasionally obscure meaning.
Focus on learning correct spelling for common academic and business terms. Avoid translating directly from your native language to prevent awkward collocations like 'relative businesses'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical errors are frequent and noticeable throughout the essay. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, modal verbs ('it's can be'), prepositions ('aware in', 'depends by'), and sentence fragments.
Review basic sentence structures, particularly the use of modal verbs, conditional clauses, and relative clauses to build complex sentences accurately.