Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private lives? Give your opinion about this issue?
Sample Response
The media playsMedia plays an important part in our lives. However, some people believe that famous peoplethe famous people are negatively depicted by the media while others reckon that media is the first source that creates famous peopleproduces the famous people. For many reasons, which will be discussed below, I strongly believe that positive media coverage does not harmpositive media does not affect the famous people, unlike the negative one which interferes with their private lives.
It is widely agreeable that the positive media makes us well informed about the famous people. To illustrate, we can become so familiar withto those famous people and we can benefit from their good qualitiesget benefit from their good merits. Additionally, we will be able to apply their good conductconducts in our lives. Needless to say, many people are influenced by famous peopleall people are affected only by the famous people. Consequently, we can imitate them in whatever is positive. In this way, I believe that media should continue to show us those famous people so that we can develop and lead a comfortable life.
Media plays an important role to make someone famous. ManyMass people from all around the world know about the fame of someone through the media. So in a way, media helps someone to get famous. It is a bad practice for reporter and journalist to harasstake vengeance against some famous celebrities. This should be completely avoided. I completely agree that the famous people should be given their privacy and should not be followed everywhere they go to. This is a basic human right that they often can't enjoy.
The second reason why the positive media is important for famous people is that it enormously increases the fame of those people. Additionally, such famous people will become widely knowndrastically be known all over the world. Hence, the famous people will not only gain their fame medially but rather they will be materialistically and morally rich ones. Accordingly, it can be noticed that famous people get their fame from the media and they will be so grateful to such promising and positive media.
On the other hand, when the negative media is employed in the lives of famous people, it will upset them. In other words, all of us know that some curious media always want to know everything about the famous people. Moreover, it always interferes in their lives and chases them wherever they go. Undoubtedly, such famous people will utterly become dissatisfied with the so-called media since it invadespenetrates their privacy. As a result, this kind of media is surely unwelcome in all communities.
To recap, we have to differentiate between the two kinds of media mentioned above. Positive media contributes widely to the production of famous people while the bad one extremely affects the privacy of those famous people. Hence, we should do our best to encourage the positive media and to prevent such negative one.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear position in favour of protecting celebrities’ privacy and explains how intrusive coverage can harm them. Its main limitation is that much of the discussion repeats the benefits of positive media instead of directly examining fairness, privacy, and public interest; prioritise a tighter two-sided analysis that distinguishes legitimate reporting from harassment and supports each point with precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay supports privacy for famous people, but spends too much space describing positive media rather than directly analysing unfair treatment.
Focus on whether coverage is fair, what privacy should be protected, and when public interest justifies reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are paragraphs, but the argument repeats the same point about positive media creating fame.
Merge repeated material and use one paragraph for benefits of media and one for limits on intrusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, but some word choices are unnatural, exaggerated, or repetitive.
Use precise terms such as celebrities, public figures, press coverage, harassment, privacy, and public interest.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is usually understandable, but article, preposition, and noun-form errors are frequent.
Edit general plural nouns and avoid unnecessary articles before groups such as famous people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private lives? Give your opinion about this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.