Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes, and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?
Sample Response
It is true that articles published in the print media include private life information of celebrities. Sometimes intricate details of their personal lives are covered on regular basis such as food, shopping, and partners etcetera. And many times including visuals of their intimate moments. I believe that it is a matter of the personal choice of a reader.
On the one hand, it is advantageous in many ways as it inspires people in food, fashion, the entertainment industry, and the general public. It generates business opportunities as well. In addition to that, what one reads is a matter of personal selection, and it is not enforced to read such articles. Many celebrities look for any opportunity for publicity and do not shy away to even share the bedroom details. The recent examples being Paris Hilton, and Kim Kirdarshan.
On the other hand, inappropriate content is anyway available over internet websites and even on mobile phones and hence it is difficult to control and draw a line. Moreover, reality shows over TV channels expose more life or celebrities than print media which is consumed by adults and teenagers alike. Hence putting a check on it may render it futile. It is a demand and supply vicious circle.
In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks of publishing intricates details of high profile people’s private life, however, print media alone is not responsible for perils. One has the liberty to read or watch the content of their choice and how they take it is their discretion therefore print media can not be blamed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: private life information of celebrities Suggested revision: information about celebrities' private lives Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the relationship between the information and the celebrities more naturally.
- 2. Add the article Original: on regular basis Suggested revision: on a regular basis Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the indefinite article before 'regular basis'.
- 3. Make phrasing concise Original: matter of the personal choice of a reader Suggested revision: matter of each reader's personal choice Why it matters: The revision removes the awkward chain of prepositional phrases while preserving the claim.
- 4. Correct verb pattern Original: shy away to even share Suggested revision: shy away from even sharing Why it matters: The phrasal verb 'shy away' takes 'from' followed by a gerund.
- 5. Remove list comma Original: Paris Hilton, and Suggested revision: Paris Hilton and Why it matters: A comma is not needed between the two names in this simple list.
- 6. Use natural adverb Original: anyway Suggested revision: readily Why it matters: 'Readily available' is the natural collocation for content that is easy to access.
- 7. Correct preposition Original: over internet websites Suggested revision: on websites Why it matters: Content is described as being available 'on' websites, and 'internet websites' is redundant.
- 8. Use natural medium Original: over TV channels Suggested revision: on television Why it matters: 'On television' is the standard expression for content shown through this medium.
- 9. Correct noun phrase Original: more life or celebrities Suggested revision: more of celebrities' lives Why it matters: The original phrase uses the wrong preposition and lacks the required possessive form.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: putting a check on it Suggested revision: restricting it Why it matters: The single verb states the intended act of limiting such content more directly.
- 11. Clarify the result Original: may render it futile Suggested revision: may prove futile Why it matters: 'Prove futile' correctly describes an attempted restriction that may be ineffective.
- 12. Fix collocation Original: demand and supply vicious circle Suggested revision: vicious circle of supply and demand Why it matters: The revision uses the established phrase and makes the relationship between the nouns clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- private life information of celebrities information about celebrities' private lives
- on regular basis on a regular basis
- matter of the personal choice of a reader matter of each reader's personal choice
- shy away to even share shy away from even sharing
- Paris Hilton, and Paris Hilton and
- anyway readily
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a discernible position and a broadly logical progression from claimed benefits to the difficulty of controlling such coverage. Its main limitation is that several ideas are only loosely connected to whether publishing private information is appropriate, while explanations and examples remain brief. The highest-priority improvement is to answer that ethical question directly and develop two clearly relevant reasons with precise support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A position is present and the question is generally addressed, but the discussion focuses unevenly on consumer choice and regulation rather than fully evaluating appropriateness.
State a direct judgement about privacy and develop each reason with a clear explanation of why publication is or is not acceptable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is easy to follow, although mechanical linking, short fragments, and loosely connected claims weaken progression within paragraphs.
Use complete topic-led paragraphs in which each supporting sentence clearly develops the same central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for the topic, but inaccurate word forms and collocations such as “intricates details” and “expose more life” reduce precision.
Prioritise natural collocations and check word forms, especially when using less familiar vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures is attempted, but fragments, article and preposition errors, and poorly controlled sentence boundaries occur frequently.
Write complete sentences and proofread each complex sentence for articles, clause boundaries, and punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes, and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.