Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Sample Response
It is true that wearing brand clothes has been becoming a usual habit in many communities. People are always encouraged by propagandas to purchase more fashion goods far more than in the past. I personally believe that the negative consequences of this lifestyle surpass its probable advantages.
Obviously, citizens are continuously pushed to use more fashion because of two important reasons. The first one is the positive role of advertisement. Before, the only devices for advertising of a product were television and radio; however, now individuals are constantly exposed to a variety of commercials shown on the Internet, inducing them to buy more clothing being designed recently. In particular, as users are searching on Google, they unconsciously see different advertisements shown by different companies on the each side of the page. Therefore, they are tempted to watch the related page more and purchase shoes, shirts or other clothing. Another factor is that consumers have access to more variation of styles and brands than before. Obviously, competition between different international companies has led them to generate more different brands with specific logos. As a prime example, while only Adidas, Nike, Puma or Reebok were the leading sportswear by the year 1990, more different sports clothing have been allowed to be produced with different names after that time, like Columbia or Asics. As a result, users have more options to select their favourite clothes and change their interest based on the latest model.
From my point of view, this way of living can and will have more drawbacks. The first reason behind it is that individuals may forget the quality. Clearly, considering which materials are used in a dress can be far important than its name. For instance, we may pay just over $100 for a Dolce & Gabbana shirt, which is almost five times we have to pay for a CHAPS one, whereas the quality and longevity of the latter could be far better than the former. In addition, the rate of consumerism has grown far considerably. Citizens are exposed to more fashion goods, causing them to spend more money on unnecessary items. In this case, some youth are used to wearing varied shoes instead of only one, but they cannot even afford their medical or dental expenditure.
In conclusion, broadcasting and producing of more different merchandise are the two crucial factors why individuals prefer to use fashion. This has increased consumerism, and the quality of products has gradually been forgotten.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural clothing term Original: brand Suggested revision: designer Why it matters: Designer clothes is the standard expression for fashionable branded garments.
- 2. Use present perfect Original: has been becoming Suggested revision: has become Why it matters: Become is not normally used in the present perfect continuous for this completed change.
- 3. Use common habit Original: usual Suggested revision: common Why it matters: Common, rather than usual, naturally describes a habit shared across communities.
- 4. Use uncountable advertising Original: propagandas Suggested revision: advertising Why it matters: Propaganda is normally uncountable and also has a different meaning from commercial advertising.
- 5. Name the products Original: purchase more fashion goods far more Suggested revision: purchase far more fashionable clothing Why it matters: The revision identifies the products naturally and places the comparative phrase correctly.
- 6. Use clothing collocation Original: use more fashion Suggested revision: buy more fashionable clothing Why it matters: People buy or wear clothing; they do not use fashion in this sense.
- 7. Use advertising noun Original: advertisement Suggested revision: advertising Why it matters: Advertising is the uncountable activity that influences consumers.
- 8. Use media terminology Original: devices for advertising of a product Suggested revision: media for advertising products Why it matters: Television and radio are advertising media rather than devices.
- 9. Fix modifier order Original: more clothing being designed recently Suggested revision: more recently designed clothing Why it matters: The participial modifier should appear before clothing to express the intended meaning clearly.
- 10. Use simple present Original: as users are searching on Google Suggested revision: when users search on Google Why it matters: The simple present describes this repeated general behaviour more naturally.
- 11. Remove the article Original: on the each side Suggested revision: on each side Why it matters: Each does not take the definite article in this construction.
- 12. Use web-page collocation Original: watch the related page Suggested revision: visit the linked page Why it matters: Users visit a linked page rather than watch a related page.
Suggested Rewrites
- brand designer
- has been becoming has become
- usual common
- propagandas advertising
- purchase more fashion goods far more purchase far more fashionable clothing
- use more fashion buy more fashionable clothing
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers both questions and maintains a clear negative view, supported by advertising, wider brand choice, quality concerns, and excessive spending. Its ideas are generally relevant and logically grouped, but pervasive unnatural collocations and grammatical slips make the argument much less precise than its content deserves. The highest-priority improvement is to replace repeated vague phrases such as 'use fashion' and 'more different' with accurate academic language, then proofread comparisons and noun forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the reasons for fashionable clothing and the writer's negative evaluation are clearly addressed with developed explanations and relevant examples.
Explain the link between brand proliferation and people's desire to dress fashionably more directly, rather than relying mainly on a list of companies.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear reasons-then-evaluation structure, though repeated signalling words and some overlong detail make progression less smooth.
Reduce repeated uses of 'Obviously' and condense the brand example so each paragraph's main idea remains prominent.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a wide topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms noticeably reduce precision and naturalness.
Use phrases such as 'designer clothes', 'advertising', 'a wider range of styles', 'follow the latest trends', and 'increased consumerism'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the argument, but errors in tense, comparison, articles, passives, and noun number recur throughout.
Prioritise accurate comparative forms such as 'far more important' and 'five times what we would pay', then check plural agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.