Fast food has become more common in recent years. Some people think that it has a negative effect on lifestyles and diets. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many individuals feel that the widespread proliferation of fast food negatively impacts both lifestyles and eating habits. I am in complete agreement.
Firstly, as a result of fast food consumption, lifestyles are more passive. Before such restaurants, it was more common for consumers to buy raw ingredients and prepare nutritious meals at home. This occurs less often now as fast food offers a cheap, quick alternative. Over time, this can lead to worsening cooking skills and a generally more lethargic lifestyle predicated around ordering meals and watching TV shows and movies. Moreover, the ingredients in fast food are often empty calories that do not provide the vitamins and minerals necessary to support an active lifestyle. A person who eats McDonald’s and KFC most days is more likely to lack energy and be unproductive.
Secondly, fast food is one of the least healthy possible additions to an individual’s diet. Healthy foods tend to be fresh fruits and vegetables and fast food consists largely of preservatives, chemicals and addictive fats, sugars and carbohydrates. Even eating a single fast food meal a day has been shown in numerous independent research studies to increase the risk of diseases ranging from diabetes and cardiovascular disease to cancer and obesity. Fast food companies have recognized this themselves and now offer healthy alternatives such as mini-salads to appeal to an increasingly health conscious public.
In conclusion, the evidence for the negative impact of fast foods is nearly irrefutable as it encourages a more sedentary lifestyle and is high in harmful fats and sugars. Whenever possible, individuals should resist the immediate gratification of fast food.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid redundancy Original: proliferation Suggested revision: availability Why it matters: The original phrase is redundant because proliferation already implies widespread growth.
- 2. Clarify the time reference Original: Before such restaurants Suggested revision: Before such restaurants became widespread Why it matters: The revision makes the historical comparison more precise.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: worsening Suggested revision: deteriorating Why it matters: Deteriorating collocates more naturally with skills.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: predicated around Suggested revision: centred on Why it matters: A lifestyle is centred on activities rather than predicated around them.
- 5. Make wording concise Original: least healthy possible additions Suggested revision: unhealthiest possible additions Why it matters: The superlative expresses the comparison more directly.
- 6. Mark the contrast Original: vegetables and fast food Suggested revision: vegetables, whereas fast food Why it matters: Whereas clearly signals the contrast between the two food categories.
- 7. Remove redundant wording Original: independent research studies Suggested revision: independent studies Why it matters: Research is already implied by studies.
- 8. Use the mass noun Original: foods Suggested revision: food Why it matters: Fast food is normally uncountable when referring to the category generally.
- 9. Choose precise wording Original: gratification Suggested revision: convenience Why it matters: Convenience more accurately expresses the attraction described in the essay.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Moreover, the ingredients in fast food are often empty calories that do not provide the vitamins and minerals necessary to support an active lifestyle. Suggested revision: Moreover, fast food often contains empty calories and does not provide the vitamins and minerals necessary to support an active lifestyle. Why it matters: Ingredients cannot themselves be calories, so the rewrite corrects the relationship while preserving the claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- proliferation availability
- Before such restaurants Before such restaurants became widespread
- worsening deteriorating
- predicated around centred on
- least healthy possible additions unhealthiest possible additions
- vegetables and fast food vegetables, whereas fast food
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear position and sustained development of two relevant consequences of fast-food consumption, with ideas progressing logically and supported by specific explanations. Its main limitation is occasional overstatement and slightly strained wording, particularly where health claims are presented as conclusive. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify broad claims and use more natural, precise collocations while retaining the effective structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The clear agreement is maintained throughout, and both lifestyle and dietary effects are directly addressed with well-developed support.
Qualify sweeping assertions about research and disease risk so the argument remains persuasive and credible.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, appropriately paragraphed, and connected smoothly without excessive reliance on linking devices.
Strengthen the internal progression of the diet paragraph by linking the health evidence more explicitly to the final example of company responses.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, though a few collocations are inflated or unnatural.
Replace strained phrases such as “widespread proliferation” and “predicated around” with simpler, more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately, with only rare minor lapses that do not impede meaning.
Refine punctuation and coordination in longer lists to make already controlled sentences even cleaner.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Fast food has become more common in recent years. Some people think that it has a negative effect on lifestyles and diets. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.