In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Governments must always balance demands for newer modes of transport, including newer railway lines to connect cities, with maintaining current transportation infrastructure. In my opinion, the maintenancemaintanence of existing public transport hascurrent transport has a greater overall impact, althoughimpact although the importance of fast trains will make life more convenient for commuters in the short termin the short-term.
The rationale for investing in newer, faster railway lines is that they will make it easier for people to travel between cities. A recent example of thisRecent examples of this can be seen in Japan, which is famous for its ‘bullet trains’ that allow residents to traverse the country in a matter of hours. This provides an economic boon by allowing businessmen to travel easily from city to city. Moreover, tourists can also use these trains for convenient travel across the countrytransnational travel, thereby making the country more tourist-friendly and helping to expand the industry.
Although I concede the above advantages, the majority of people are served by existing formsalready existing forms of public transportation. Tourists and businessmen travelling between cities are the exception compared with those travelling inside cities. These travellers rely on buses, subways and city streets to get around. Simple improvements or additions to a subway line impactimpacts millions of people. A new bus route can help workers get to and from work more easily. Even the lowering of fares is a reform that would benefit less affluent travellers.
In conclusion, cities that are more concerned with actual improvements, rather than publicity grabbing headlines, should focus on the most-used forms of public transport. In the future high speed rails may even become redundant as people commute less and transition to jobs performedbased primarily online.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear preference and supports both sides with relevant, logically developed examples, while maintaining a confident academic style. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision, including a questionable description of domestic rail travel and a speculative final point that is not fully developed. Prioritise more exact wording and ensure every concluding claim directly consolidates the preceding argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the position is consistent, and the supporting reasons are relevant and well developed.
Replace the speculative final prediction with a more fully justified comparison of the two spending priorities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Make the conclusion track the body arguments more closely instead of introducing a new future-work claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective expressions such as economic boon and less affluent travellers.
Improve lexical precision by correcting choices such as transnational for travel within one country and the spelling of maintenance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only occasional non-impeding errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and compound modifiers, especially in phrases such as improvements impact and high-speed rail.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.