These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is true that nowadays, the father stays at home to take care of the child and be the househusband, while the mother goes out to work to be the family’s breadwinner. I take it as a very positive trend.
With the change in social belief, more parents sent their daughters out for higher studies rather than to prepare for marriage. Nowadays, women work in many different streams, and they have become very successful in that like, Telemarketing, Makeup artist, Fashion-designing, and many more they can work better than a man. Equal rights impacted women were empowering the world and creating more job opportunities for women. It is not easy for someone to adopt that woman must work, but some women do not care about this, and they quickly go to work, and this has become quite normal for the mother to go to work and the father stays at home and takes care of the child. This decision is based on who is the higher earner in the family and who has the higher earning potential and decides to work and support the family’s expenses. Many developed countries have adopted this trend, and Asia is yet to adopt the trend ultimately.
It is a positive outcome and should be treated as progress. Real progress would be impossible if both genders get equal, did not get hand in hand, and were not provided with equal opportunity. It is time that whoever earns more money and have a secure carrier must run the house and other have to take care of the family, not based on social and traditional belief.
In Conclusion, the changing roles in the family have been possible due to significant changes in social belief advancement of women, especially in education. This is a very positive trend that eliminates gender discrimination and advocates equal rights.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural subject Original: nowadays, the father stays at home Suggested revision: nowadays, fathers stay at home Why it matters: A general statement about this trend requires a plural noun without the definite article.
- 2. Match plural reference Original: the child and be the househusband Suggested revision: their children and become househusbands Why it matters: The pronoun and nouns should agree with the plural subject.
- 3. Use plural subject Original: the mother goes out to work Suggested revision: mothers go out to work Why it matters: The essay describes mothers in general, so the plural form is appropriate.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: I take it as Suggested revision: I consider this Why it matters: The replacement is a more natural way to express an evaluation.
- 5. Use accurate collocation Original: With the change in social belief Suggested revision: With changing social attitudes Why it matters: Social attitudes is the natural phrase for changing views about gender roles.
- 6. Keep present tense Original: sent Suggested revision: send Why it matters: The paragraph discusses a current trend, so the present tense is needed.
- 7. Use formal phrasing Original: out for higher studies Suggested revision: to pursue higher education Why it matters: This is a more natural academic expression for continuing education.
- 8. Correct clause structure Original: adopt that woman must work Suggested revision: accept that women should work Why it matters: Accept introduces this clause correctly, and women should be plural in a general statement.
- 9. Clarify intended meaning Original: do not care about this Suggested revision: are not deterred by this Why it matters: The replacement makes clear that social disapproval does not prevent these women from working.
- 10. Use precise expression Original: quickly go to work Suggested revision: readily enter the workforce Why it matters: This phrase more clearly describes women beginning paid employment.
- 11. Generalize with plural Original: normal for the mother Suggested revision: normal for mothers Why it matters: A plural noun is required because the sentence describes a general social pattern.
- 12. Restore parallel structure Original: the father stays at home and takes care of the child Suggested revision: for fathers to stay at home and take care of their children Why it matters: The infinitive structure should be parallel with for mothers to go to work.
Suggested Rewrites
- nowadays, the father stays at home nowadays, fathers stay at home
- the child and be the househusband their children and become househusbands
- the mother goes out to work mothers go out to work
- I take it as I consider this
- With the change in social belief With changing social attitudes
- sent send
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay maintains a clear positive position and gives relevant reasons, particularly women’s increased education and the practical importance of earning potential. However, development becomes repetitive and several long, inaccurate sentences obscure the argument. The highest priority is to organise each reason into a focused paragraph and express it through shorter, grammatically controlled sentences with more accurate word choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear positive view and relevant reasons, though several claims are generalised, repetitive, or only partly explained.
Develop two distinct reasons with specific explanation, then support the positive judgement with a concrete social or family benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall position and broad progression are apparent, but the very long second paragraph and repetitive linking weaken cohesion.
Divide the reasons into focused paragraphs and use one clear topic sentence and logical sequence for each main idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range on employment, family roles, and equality, but frequent awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as career security, fields of work, and traditional beliefs, and avoid imprecise or overgeneralised wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, and clause structure regularly reduce clarity.
Prioritise shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement and clause boundaries before adding complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.