It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?
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Sample Response
In several parts of the world, there is currently too few students choosing to study sciencea lack of students choosing to study science in universities and colleges. This problem arises for several reasonshappens due to some reasons, and it can have several adverse effectssome adverse impacts on society.
There are several reasons why fewer university students are choosing science as their major. Firstly, sciencethese subjects are usually more difficult and demanding, which requirerequires students to devote considerable effort to their studiesput much effort into their study. For example, my friend who is taking a biology coursedoing a course in Biology said that he had to conduct too many experiments and complete numerous projects, which prevented him from having any free time. As a result, science subjects seem to be less attractive to students compared to economics or business-related subjects. Secondly, as there are currently fewer employment opportunitiesfewer employment opportunities available for science graduatesgraduates in science fields, learners are less likely to selectless likely to decide to select these majors. Instead, they tend to choose other subjects which allow them to find jobs more easily.
A shortage of learners in science fields can result in some negative effects. The first impact is that when fewer students decide to learn about science, there couldwould be a serious shortage of employees working in these fields. This would lead to slower technological developmentfewer technological developments, which would also hinder improvements in people’s quality of lifeprevent improvements in people’s life quality. For instance, it would be difficult for humans to produce newer smart phones with more advanced featuresbetter functions. Additionally, while a rapidly growing numbera significantly increasing number of students are choosing to study economics and businesschoosing economics and business to study, the number of job vacancies in these areas is limited. Therefore, many university graduates would have to face unemployment, which increases the burden on societyincreases burden on society.
In conclusion, the shortage of students choosing science subjects is caused by several factors, and this problem might bring about serious impacts.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised and addresses both causes and social effects with clear causal chains and relevant examples. Its main limitation is that some claims, particularly about science employment and graduate unemployment, are asserted too broadly, while several collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The best improvement would be to qualify those claims and support them with more convincing society-level explanation while proofreading sentence structure and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are answered clearly through two causes and two effects that are extended with relevant explanation and examples.
Strengthen the argument by qualifying broad claims about employment and explaining the wider social consequences with more convincing evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make the cause-and-effect relationships easy to follow.
Rely less on numbered signposts and use more varied referencing to make transitions sound less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic and usually precise, with occasional awkward combinations such as 'people's life quality' and 'economics and business to study'.
Refine academic collocations, for example using 'quality of life' and 'study economics or business', to improve naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with generally good control, although occasional agreement, article, and phrasing errors remain.
Proofread carefully for subject-verb agreement and missing articles, especially in long sentences containing relative clauses.