A lot of films are now being made strictly for the DVD market and we are able to download films directly from the internet websites. How do you think this development is affecting cinema audiences? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
The film industry has a significant influence on the lifestyle of youngsters from beginning of 19th century until now. In India, movies are acting as a media of one-way communication and this film industry has contributed one of the biggest parts of the economy of India. One part of society think that watching movie online instead of going to cinema theater is positive development of technology, but I believe that this is negative development because it affects not only on the income of filmmakers but also on the income of government and this development also introducing new trend of reducing public attraction towards the DVD market.
Directors of film usually invest huge money for making his film extraordinary. Due to, piracy people usually watch movies by downloading them from the internet, because of this, filmmakers get less profit. Furthermore, it affects on taxes which they have to pay to the government. For instance, in India piracy is a big crime and India suffered a lot because of this crime in 2010. Since piracy has been banned, government's overall income has increased a lot. Moreover, Indians encouraged purchasing DVDs on a large scale.
Nowadays it is noticeable that, many people do not have any interest in buying original DVD or watching movies in a theatre because of many reasons. First of all, there are many websites on which one can easily find new updated movie list. Secondly, because of busy a schedule, they get very less time as leisure time. Eventually, the price of the DVD and movie tickets is quite high. That is why audiences are more attracted towards the easy way of watching movies and that is the internet. For example, those who belong to a rural area, generally enjoy movies by watching them online because they are not capable of paying a high cost of original DVDs.
In conclusion, negative use of the internet, especially for piracy, has affected badly on the income of filmmakers as well as on the number of audiences in cinema theatres. Collaboration among audience, film-maker and government is very much important to avoid piracy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix time expression Original: from beginning of 19th century until now Suggested revision: since the beginning of the 19th century Why it matters: A continuing period from a past starting point requires “since”, with articles before “beginning” and the ordinal century.
- 2. Fix verb and noun Original: movies are acting as a media Suggested revision: movies act as a medium Why it matters: The simple present states a general role, and the singular form of “media” is “medium”.
- 3. Use natural economic phrase Original: has contributed one of the biggest parts of the economy of India Suggested revision: contributes significantly to India's economy Why it matters: An industry contributes to an economy rather than contributing one of its parts.
- 4. Fix subject and agreement Original: One part of society think Suggested revision: Some people think Why it matters: The revision provides a natural plural subject that agrees with “think”.
- 5. Use plural count noun Original: watching movie online Suggested revision: watching movies online Why it matters: The statement refers to films generally, so the countable noun should be plural.
- 6. Add article Original: going to cinema theater Suggested revision: going to a cinema Why it matters: The singular countable place needs an article, and “cinema theatre” is redundant.
- 7. Add missing article Original: is positive development Suggested revision: is a positive development Why it matters: The singular countable noun “development” requires an article.
- 8. Add missing article Original: this is negative development Suggested revision: this is a negative development Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase requires the article “a”.
- 9. Remove wrong preposition Original: affects not only on Suggested revision: affects not only Why it matters: The transitive verb “affects” takes a direct object without “on”.
- 10. Use precise fiscal term Original: the income of government Suggested revision: government revenue Why it matters: “Government revenue” is the natural term for money received by the state.
- 11. Add auxiliary verb Original: this development also introducing Suggested revision: this development is also introducing Why it matters: The present participle “introducing” requires the auxiliary verb “is”.
- 12. Use standard job title Original: Directors of film Suggested revision: Film directors Why it matters: “Film directors” is the conventional compound noun for people who direct films.
Suggested Rewrites
- from beginning of 19th century until now since the beginning of the 19th century
- movies are acting as a media movies act as a medium
- has contributed one of the biggest parts of the economy of India contributes significantly to India's economy
- One part of society think Some people think
- watching movie online watching movies online
- going to cinema theater going to a cinema
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear recognition that convenient online viewing reduces cinema attendance, supported by points about price, time, and rural access. Its main limitation is that it treats internet downloading as synonymous with piracy and shifts attention from audiences to filmmakers’ and government income, producing an incomplete and sometimes contradictory answer. The highest priority is to distinguish legal distribution from piracy and evaluate audience effects directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions receive an answer, but the discussion partly misreads the development as piracy and focuses heavily on industry revenue rather than cinema audiences.
Analyse how legal downloads and direct-to-DVD releases change audience size, convenience, cost, and the cinema experience before judging the development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has recognisable paragraph progression from financial effects to audience behaviour, though internal contradictions and faulty linking weaken coherence.
Give each paragraph one clear focus and remove claims that conflict over whether DVD purchasing is increasing or declining.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for films, audiences, piracy, and revenue, but frequent inaccurate collocations and repetitions restrict precision.
Use natural phrases such as ‘cinema attendance’, ‘legal film downloads’, ‘box-office revenue’, ‘spare time’, and ‘afford the price’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, prepositions, and sentence boundaries reduce control and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow.
Write shorter complete sentences and check each subject–verb pair, especially ‘one part thinks’, ‘this development introduces’, and ‘directors invest’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
A lot of films are now being made strictly for the DVD market and we are able to download films directly from the internet websites. How do you think this development is affecting cinema audiences? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.