Some people believe that employers should allow employees to choose their own working hours, while others think that fixed working hours are better for businesses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 6.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
When individuals look for jobshunt jobs in the market, they may compare them acrossin a wide range of factors, such as salary, commuting time and working hours. Some commentators believeSome of them hold that employees should work during fixed working hours because it fosters business growthpromotes businesses’ development. However, I think they should be permitted to select their own working hours.
Admittedly, it will be convenient to communicate with their colleagues if employees work fixed hoursin the fixed hours at their companies. However, provided thatBut as long as Wi-Fi is available, people may feel atas ease discussing issues with each otherdiscussing with each other online, sending documents and screenshotssnapshots quickly. Moreover, some people may find it difficult to handle work in the early morning or late evening because they may easily feel sleepy or tired. Consequently, they may becomeSo they may become less motivated and not work as efficiently or effectively aswork not as efficiently or effectively as they do during other time periods. This may negatively affect companies’ long-term stability and growth.
On the other hand, employees can bring more benefits to companies that allowmore benefits for their companies which allow them to select working hours. Once these workers have been offered opportunities to work according to their personal schedulespersonal time schedule, they may feel respectedfeel being respected by their supervisors, thereby becoming more loyal to the companies. They tend to hold positive attitudes toward their work, shoulder their responsibilities, and solve problems proactively. As a result, the companies can attract more talented individualsattract more talents to work hard for them. It will be beneficial to their long-term growth.
In conclusion, it is better to allow employees to select their working hours, because this measure not only helps workers exert their talents but also promotesnot only help workers exert their talents but also promote companies’ development.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay addresses both perspectives of the prompt while maintaining a clear personal stance throughout. To achieve a higher score, the response should explore the rationale for fixed working hours more thoroughly before refuting it, rather than instantly dismissing the opposing view. Additionally, refining word choice and correcting minor grammatical inaccuracies will strengthen the overall quality.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You presented a clear opinion and addressed both perspectives, though the argument for fixed working hours was brief and quickly countered.
Dedicate a full body paragraph to thoroughly explaining why fixed hours benefit businesses before offering your counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall progression of your ideas is clear, but paragraph organization and transitional phrasing could be more balanced.
Use clear topic sentences that explicitly signal whether a paragraph explores the advantages of fixed schedules or flexible hours.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrated an adequate vocabulary range to discuss the topic, though occasional awkward phrasing and preposition errors occurred.
Replace informal or slightly inaccurate expressions, such as 'hunt jobs' or 'feel as ease', with more precise academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You used a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with mostly clear meaning, despite occasional grammatical slips.
Focus on checking structure parallelism and verb form agreement when using complex structures like 'not only... but also'.