The impact that the growing demand for more flights has on the environment, is a major concern for many countries. Some people believe that one way to limit the number of people traveling by air is to increase the tax on flights. To what extent do you think this could solve the problem?
Sample Response
The unprecedented progress of society brings along with several notable notions which are incontrovertible. Among them, the rising tendency of using more airways is one of them. A bunch of personages are concerned with the best method to solve this problem. Although certain folks pressure that tax increment is the most effective step to tackle environmental dangers. I believe, that offering dumps for developments and making visas more expensive, will prove more effective.
Firstly, more taxation plays a significant role in limiting the number of trips by companies or individuals. As a result of a high number of, taxes people will reduce their trips to a limited amount. For instance, the high price to boost the tourism revenues in its country, Indonesia has up-grated its flight ticket price that includes basic prices and a 20% tax to travel abroad after the pandemic COVID-19.
Secondly, restricting Visa access is another key method to mitigate the increasing demand for flights. This is to say that, people will think twice to take a plane because they would pay double the prices that are for flight tickets and taxes, as a consequence, they will prefer to enjoy their holiday locally rather than fly overseas because of the price considerations. For example, neighbours of ours decided to visit France in a transit zone for a week. However, while applying for Visa they realized that there were needed a lot of documents, covid tests, and money to get it. Therefore, they were not able to do this and decided not to visit Europe.
In conclusion, several journeys by plane play a pivotal role to swell up surroundings difficulties. If the government includes the tax on aircraft accommodation sister to reduce the amount of air pollution and taxes on visa regulation, these could drive some drawbacks to our environmental systems.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix verb construction Original: brings along with Suggested revision: brings with it Why it matters: The verb phrase requires ‘with it’ rather than ‘along with’ in this structure.
- 2. Choose accurate noun Original: notions Suggested revision: changes Why it matters: ‘Changes’ fits the described effects of social progress, whereas ‘notions’ means ideas.
- 3. Use natural wording Original: A bunch of personages Suggested revision: Many people Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and overly informal for this meaning.
- 4. Fix preposition Original: with Suggested revision: about Why it matters: ‘Concerned about’ expresses worry regarding a problem.
- 5. Remove incorrect comma Original: I believe, that Suggested revision: I believe that Why it matters: A comma must not separate the reporting verb from its ‘that’ clause.
- 6. Clarify policy phrase Original: offering dumps for developments Suggested revision: providing funding for development Why it matters: The original wording is not idiomatic and obscures the proposed policy.
- 7. Remove subject comma Original: making visas more expensive, will Suggested revision: making visas more expensive will Why it matters: A comma cannot separate this coordinated subject from its verb.
- 8. Fix quantity phrase Original: a high number of, taxes Suggested revision: a high level of taxation Why it matters: ‘Taxation’ is uncountable here, and the comma incorrectly interrupts the noun phrase.
- 9. Use countable expression Original: reduce their trips to a limited amount Suggested revision: limit the number of their trips Why it matters: Trips are countable, so ‘number’ is required instead of ‘amount’.
- 10. Correct term capitalization Original: Visa Suggested revision: visa Why it matters: ‘Visa’ is a common noun and should not be capitalized mid-sentence.
- 11. Fix explanatory linker Original: This is to say that, Suggested revision: This means that Why it matters: The revised linker introduces the explanation naturally and removes the misplaced comma.
- 12. Fix verb pattern Original: think twice to take Suggested revision: think twice about taking Why it matters: ‘Think twice’ takes ‘about’ followed by a gerund.
Suggested Rewrites
- brings along with brings with it
- notions changes
- A bunch of personages Many people
- with about
- I believe, that I believe that
- offering dumps for developments providing funding for development
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s clearest strength is its recognisable paragraph structure and attempt to explain how higher costs may reduce air travel. Its main limitation is that the position becomes unclear and much of the discussion shifts to visa restrictions, with several examples and conclusions only loosely connected to the environmental question. Prioritise a direct extent-based thesis, develop taxation’s likely effect on demand and emissions, and express each claim in clear, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response partly evaluates flight taxation and offers relevant cost-based reasoning, but its position and environmental link are insufficiently clear and developed.
State exactly how far taxation would solve the problem, then explain its likely effects on passenger demand and emissions throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph plan is recognisable and basic progression is present, but connections within and between several sentences are unclear.
Give each paragraph one controlling claim and use concise explanation–example links instead of long comma-linked sequences.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prefer familiar precise terms such as air travel, emissions, and ticket prices, and verify every less common expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, agreement, and clause formation impede clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check clause boundaries before combining ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The impact that the growing demand for more flights has on the environment, is a major concern for many countries. Some people believe that one way to limit the number of people traveling by air is to increase the tax on flights. To what extent do you think this could solve the problem?
Your response
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