People should follow the local customs and traditions, when they come to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The globalised world these days makes it simpler than ever before for people to relocate and start building a life in a new country. As everyone comes from their own cultural background, a question arises of whether or not people should be expected to follow the customs of their host country. I completely agree with the view that while learning about the local customs may require some time and effort, it is valuable and will aid the integration of the newcomers into society.
In many cultures following the local customs means showing respect, which is an important moral value in nearly every culture. The opposite is also true: disregarding traditions is often seen as a sign of disrespect. In order to establish good neighbourly relationships and feel welcome in the new place, it is important to demonstrate the effort to become part of the community. By expressing an interest in learning traditions, new arrivals gain a chance to interact with their neighbours and colleagues, get to know them and build some connections in the new country.
Another positive aspect is the enhanced feeling of belonging that people get from participating in activities others around them are doing. When a national festival is in full swing, standing on the sidelines might make people feel excluded and perhaps even homesick, whereas joining others opens up opportunities to attend special events together, go to parties, meet new people and feel part of the celebrations. In Australia, for example, Easter is a very special time of the year and some of the traditional activities include Easter egg decoration and gifting, and baking hot cross buns; sharing your designs and recipes with others is an excellent conversation starter.
In conclusion, learning the customs and traditions of one’s new country doesn’t mean a loss of their own culture. On the contrary, it is an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of cultural connections and should be embraced as a positive experience.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise opening Original: The globalised world these days Suggested revision: Today’s globalised world Why it matters: The revision conveys the time reference more concisely and naturally.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: the integration of the newcomers Suggested revision: the integration of newcomers Why it matters: ‘Newcomers’ refers to people generally here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: In many cultures following Suggested revision: In many cultures, following Why it matters: A comma should separate the introductory prepositional phrase from the main clause.
- 4. Use correct collocation Original: demonstrate the effort Suggested revision: make an effort Why it matters: English conventionally uses ‘make an effort’ rather than ‘demonstrate the effort’ in this context.
- 5. Use precise reference Original: the new place Suggested revision: their new community Why it matters: ‘Their new community’ identifies the social setting more precisely than ‘the new place’.
- 6. Clarify learning focus Original: an interest in learning traditions Suggested revision: an interest in learning about local traditions Why it matters: People learn about traditions, and ‘local’ makes the reference precise.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: gain a chance Suggested revision: have an opportunity Why it matters: ‘Have an opportunity’ is more idiomatic in formal English.
- 8. Tighten the phrase Original: build some connections Suggested revision: build connections Why it matters: The determiner ‘some’ is unnecessary and weakens the concise formal expression.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: the enhanced feeling of belonging Suggested revision: a stronger sense of belonging Why it matters: ‘A stronger sense of belonging’ is the more natural collocation.
- 10. Use parallel nouns Original: Easter egg decoration and gifting Suggested revision: Easter egg decorating and gift-giving Why it matters: The revised gerunds form a clearer parallel pair of activities.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: As everyone comes from their own cultural background, a question arises of whether or not people should be expected to follow the customs of their host country. Suggested revision: Because everyone has their own cultural background, this raises the question of whether people should be expected to follow the customs of their host country. Why it matters: The revision fixes the awkward construction ‘a question arises of’ while preserving the original point.
Suggested Rewrites
- The globalised world these days Today’s globalised world
- the integration of the newcomers the integration of newcomers
- In many cultures following In many cultures, following
- demonstrate the effort make an effort
- the new place their new community
- an interest in learning traditions an interest in learning about local traditions
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, consistent position and develops it through persuasive explanations of respect, social connection, and belonging, with the Australian example adding useful specificity. Its main limitation is some repetition in the first body paragraph and a few slightly awkward expressions. The highest-priority improvement is to make each supporting point more distinct and sharpen occasional phrasing while preserving the fluent, well-organised argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit throughout, and both main reasons are relevant, extended, and convincingly illustrated.
Make the first supporting reason more analytically distinct by moving beyond the closely related ideas of respect and avoiding disrespect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear progression, paragraphs have focused central topics, and cohesive devices are handled smoothly.
Reduce slight internal repetition in the first body paragraph so each sentence advances the reasoning more decisively.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural overall, with effective expressions for integration, belonging, and community participation.
Refine occasional awkward combinations such as demonstrate the effort to become part of the community into more idiomatic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence forms is controlled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Polish pronoun consistency and punctuation in the longest sentences to sustain the same high level of control throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People should follow the local customs and traditions, when they come to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.