Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
People have different opinions about when children should start school. While starting school early could be beneficial for a child's academic performance, I believe that the best time for a child to attend school is when they are at least seven years old.
On the one hand, proponents of early formal education often claim that children can develop much better study habits if they are sent to school early. Some experts say that the first seven years of a child's life are the most important, as this is when they are developing and forming their personality and ideas about the world. Any external factors will have a strong impact on them and directly affect their overall development. Therefore, if educators can instill the value and importance of learning during these formative years, children may develop an interest in education, making them more eager to learn. As long as children can maintain this passion, they may become more academically successful in the future.
On the other hand, I believe that it is immoral to deprive children of a carefree childhood. This should be the time for children to naturally explore themselves, discover their talents, and cultivate their skills and interests. However, these activities cannot be done when a child enters school at such an early age, and they cannot enjoy their childhood while having to deal with homework and other aspects of school. In other words, sending children to school when they are psychologically unprepared means that people are treating children unfairly. If a child has to experience an unhappy childhood, the benefit of having good study habits becomes insignificant.
In conclusion, although forcing children to attend school early may enable them to form highly effective study habits, I believe that educators should delay formal education until children are at least seven years old so that they can enjoy their childhood to the fullest.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise phrasing Original: different opinions about when Suggested revision: different views on when Why it matters: This phrasing is more concise and natural in an academic introduction.
- 2. Match task terminology Original: starting school early Suggested revision: beginning formal education early Why it matters: This wording refers more precisely to the formal education discussed in the task.
- 3. Clarify comparison Original: develop much better study habits Suggested revision: develop stronger study habits Why it matters: The comparative phrase 'much better' lacks a clear point of comparison.
- 4. Use direct present tense Original: they are developing and forming Suggested revision: children develop and form Why it matters: The simple present expresses this general developmental process more directly.
- 5. Choose precise noun Original: Any external factors Suggested revision: External influences Why it matters: 'Influences' fits the idea of effects on children's development more naturally than 'factors'.
- 6. Fix word combination Original: instill the value and importance of learning Suggested revision: instil an appreciation of learning Why it matters: People can instil an appreciation, whereas 'instil the value' is not a natural collocation.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: maintain this passion Suggested revision: sustain this enthusiasm Why it matters: 'Sustain enthusiasm' is a more natural academic collocation in this context.
- 8. Clarify intended meaning Original: explore themselves Suggested revision: develop naturally Why it matters: 'Explore themselves' is unnatural and obscures the intended idea of personal development.
- 9. Improve noun phrasing Original: the benefit of having good study habits Suggested revision: the benefits of developing good study habits Why it matters: The plural 'benefits' and the verb 'developing' express the general claim more naturally.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: However, these activities cannot be done when a child enters school at such an early age, and they cannot enjoy their childhood while having to deal with homework and other aspects of school. Suggested revision: However, children cannot pursue these activities or fully enjoy their childhood when they enter school early and have to manage homework and other demands. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the vague passive construction and coordinates the two effects more clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- different opinions about when different views on when
- starting school early beginning formal education early
- develop much better study habits develop stronger study habits
- they are developing and forming children develop and form
- Any external factors External influences
- instill the value and importance of learning instil an appreciation of learning
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, consistent position and logically developed comparison of both views, supported by relevant explanations about study habits and childhood. Its main limitation is that some claims are stated too absolutely, while the discussion of early schooling could consider educational quality or age-appropriate provision more precisely. Prioritise adding a more nuanced example or qualification to deepen the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with a clear personal position and relevant, substantially developed reasoning.
Qualify the more absolute claims and add a specific example to make the comparison more nuanced and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the transition within the second body paragraph so the sequence from exploration to psychological readiness feels even tighter.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary conveys abstract ideas effectively, with only occasional awkward phrasing.
Refine collocations such as exploring themselves and activities cannot be done for more natural and exact expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and errors are rare and do not impede meaning.
Polish the few awkward clause combinations to make already strong sentence control more consistently natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.