Employers should give their staff at least four weeks’ holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There are those who opine that workers should be provided with no less than one-month leave every year to improve their work performance. Personally, I totally agree with this statement because it can increase employees’ working motivation and allow them to achieve self-improvement.
The main reason why I believe that a minimum one-month holiday should be given to employees to make them perform better at their jobs is that this practice sharpens their work incentives. Employees usually work for long hours on a daily basis, which builds monotony, boredom and stress. As a result of this, their productivity falls appreciably. In contrast, when such a long leave from work is shown, employees can regard this as a driving force behind their hard work.
Another reason is that such a break provides workers with opportunities to make adjustments both physically and psychologically before readapting themselves to new work commitments. When employees work for a long duration, they are likely to feel exhausted and stressed, leading to the fact that they lose passion, excitement and energy for work. If they are given a month, however, their pressure can be relieved by having sufficient time to enjoy themselves and relax, helping them to be energetic again when they go back to work.
In conclusion, I am strongly in favour of the view that employees should be rewarded with a month-long holiday annually to eventually improve their work efficiency. This is because employees can be motivated, and in the meanwhile be refreshed. Therefore, it is suggested that companies do this for better employee performance.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the leave phrase Original: no less than one-month leave Suggested revision: at least one month of leave Why it matters: A duration used before the uncountable noun leave requires this structure.
- 2. Improve the collocation Original: working motivation Suggested revision: motivation to work Why it matters: Motivation to work is the natural collocation for employees' willingness to perform.
- 3. Express duration correctly Original: a minimum one-month holiday Suggested revision: a holiday of at least one month Why it matters: The replacement expresses the minimum duration with a complete grammatical structure.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: sharpens their work incentives Suggested revision: strengthens their motivation to work Why it matters: Incentives are not normally sharpened, so the original collocation is unnatural.
- 5. Choose the right verb Original: builds Suggested revision: creates Why it matters: Create collocates naturally with monotony as an effect of repetitive work.
- 6. Use the correct verb Original: such a long leave from work is shown Suggested revision: such a long period of leave is offered Why it matters: Leave is offered or granted rather than shown.
- 7. Make the incentive concise Original: a driving force behind their hard work Suggested revision: an incentive to work hard Why it matters: The replacement conveys the same relationship more directly and naturally.
- 8. State recovery directly Original: opportunities to make adjustments both physically and psychologically Suggested revision: opportunities to recover both physically and psychologically Why it matters: Recover expresses the intended benefit of the break more precisely than make adjustments.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: readapting themselves to new work commitments Suggested revision: returning to their work commitments Why it matters: The replacement is more idiomatic and preserves the idea of resuming work after leave.
- 10. Use a direct result clause Original: leading to the fact that they lose Suggested revision: causing them to lose Why it matters: The participial clause states the result more concisely without the cumbersome fact that structure.
- 11. Name the feeling accurately Original: pressure Suggested revision: stress Why it matters: Stress is the more precise noun for the emotional strain described in the paragraph.
- 12. Fix the linking phrase Original: , and in the meanwhile be refreshed Suggested revision: and be refreshed at the same time Why it matters: The revision removes the unnecessary comma and replaces the unidiomatic linker.
Suggested Rewrites
- no less than one-month leave at least one month of leave
- working motivation motivation to work
- a minimum one-month holiday a holiday of at least one month
- sharpens their work incentives strengthens their motivation to work
- builds creates
- such a long leave from work is shown such a long period of leave is offered
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear, consistent agreement and its logical explanation of how extended leave can improve motivation and restore employees' energy. Its main limitation is that the two supporting ideas overlap and rely on general explanation rather than specific illustration, while several unnatural collocations reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish the benefits more sharply and support each one with a concrete workplace example expressed in natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the opinion task, maintains a clear position, and develops two relevant reasons, though support remains somewhat general and overlapping.
Give each reason a distinct focus and add a concrete example showing how annual leave produces better performance in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and a logical overall progression, although repeated restatement and mechanical linking make parts of the argument feel less streamlined.
Reduce repetition between the body paragraphs and conclusion, and use more implicit progression where the logical relationship is already clear.
Lexical Resource
The response displays sufficient range for the topic, but several awkward collocations, including “sharpens their work incentives” and “leave from work is shown,” limit precision.
Prioritise conventional workplace collocations such as “increase motivation,” “grant leave,” and “reduce stress” to make expression more natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, and grammatical inaccuracies are occasional rather than disruptive.
Review noun phrases and reference in constructions such as “a minimum one-month holiday” and “given a month” to improve accuracy and clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Employers should give their staff at least four weeks’ holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.