Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Access to a reliable and good quality health service is important for the people of any country. developments in medical treatment and medical technology over the last few decades have seen the costs of healthcare rise making it unaffordable to many people in the community. there are two reasons why a free health service should be available to all, namely the high cost of treatment and the government’s duty to its people.
Firstly, without the government provision of free health care, the less advantaged members of the community, such as the unemployed and aged, would not be able to afford medical treatment. this situation would result in great suffering and further entrench the disadvantaged status of these groups. secondly, the purpose of any government is to ensure the wellbeing of its people. by providing free health care service, the government would directly attend to its duty.
The health care service should be organized in a way that caters for the needs of the population as a whole. this means that the government must prioritize medical services. for example, there could be a provision for free access to consultation with doctors as well as free access to general hospital care. on the other hand, free access to more expensive and specialized treatments may need to have some restrictions due to the high costs involved.
In conclusion, free health care of an overall good quality is an important service for a government to provide because it has a duty to ensure that all people in the community are taken care of.
‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. this behavior is now having a negative impact on society’. discuss.
Every country should have a free health service, even if this means Every country should have a free health service, even if this means Every country should have a free health service, even if this means
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize sentence start Original: developments Suggested revision: Developments Why it matters: The first word of a new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 2. Add participial comma Original: rise making it unaffordable Suggested revision: rise, making it unaffordable Why it matters: A comma should separate the result phrase from the preceding clause.
- 3. Capitalize sentence start Original: there Suggested revision: There Why it matters: The first word of a new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 4. Use possessive noun Original: government Suggested revision: government's Why it matters: The possessive form correctly shows that the government provides the care.
- 5. Use precise term Original: less advantaged members Suggested revision: disadvantaged members Why it matters: “Disadvantaged” is the established concise term in this context.
- 6. Use respectful noun phrase Original: the unemployed and aged Suggested revision: unemployed and older people Why it matters: “The aged” is an awkward and potentially dehumanizing label for older people.
- 7. Capitalize sentence start Original: this Suggested revision: This Why it matters: The first word of a new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 8. Capitalize transition Original: secondly Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: A transition that begins a new sentence requires an initial capital letter.
- 9. Fix article and case Original: by providing free health care service Suggested revision: By providing a free health care service Why it matters: The sentence needs initial capitalization and an article before the singular countable noun “service.”
- 10. Correct duty collocation Original: attend to its duty Suggested revision: fulfil its duty Why it matters: A government “fulfils” a duty rather than “attends to” it in this context.
- 11. Capitalize sentence start Original: this Suggested revision: This Why it matters: The first word of a new sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 12. Capitalize example marker Original: for Suggested revision: For Why it matters: The first word of this new sentence requires a capital letter.
Suggested Rewrites
- developments Developments
- rise making it unaffordable rise, making it unaffordable
- there There
- government government's
- less advantaged members disadvantaged members
- the unemployed and aged unemployed and older people
Why this response received Band 6.5
The main essay presents a clear position, develops relevant reasons, and sensibly acknowledges that costly specialist treatment may require restrictions. However, the usable response is shortened and seriously disrupted by an unrelated task and repeated prompt wording appended after the conclusion, which weakens task achievement and progression. The highest priority is to remove copied or irrelevant material and submit a complete, clean response of sufficient original length.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The original discussion directly supports free basic healthcare and addresses limits on expensive treatment, but copied and unrelated material inflates the stated length and compromises completion.
Provide at least 250 words of original, relevant argument and remove all material belonging to other prompts or the task statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The core four-paragraph essay is logically ordered, but the unrelated prompt and repeated fragments after the conclusion create a substantial break in overall progression.
End the response after the conclusion and check that every paragraph belongs to the same argument before submission.
Lexical Resource
The core response uses a good range of generally precise vocabulary for healthcare, disadvantage, government responsibility, and service priorities.
Refine occasional unnatural choices such as less advantaged and attend to its duty to make the wording consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay demonstrates varied, mostly well-controlled complex sentences, although pervasive missing capitalization and a few article or punctuation issues reduce accuracy.
Capitalize every sentence opening and proofread punctuation and articles while preserving the effective variety of sentence forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.