Most of the countries provide free health service. Some people believe that people with unhealthy habits like smoking, stress and not exercising should not get this free service. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In my opinion, medical care is a primary right of every citizen of a country. Irrespective of lifestyles and social habits everyone should get health care service at free of cost.
Living standards of the people depend on many factors like society, family conditions, job responsibilities etc. People working in IT and BPO industries are normally highly stressed in designing intricate business solutions. Most of the times they don’t find time to work out for body fitness, this is due to irregular and long working hours. Employees of a manufacturing industry also undergo similar problems due to odd work shifts. Despite ruining their healthy lifestyle, they contribute to the society in the form of tax. Why should not they get free health service?
Some of my friends argue that the restriction of health care services based on social habits like smoking, consumption of alcohol etc., may improve the health levels of a society. They assume that people may afraid of not getting free medical service due to these habits and they may quit. One of the surveys conducted in India has proved it wrong. This survey is conducted on a group of young people aged between 19 and 30. Results of the survey revealed a shocking truth. People who are addicted to these habits do not really care about their health. Surprisingly, most of the people suggested decreasing the price of cigarettes and spirits. So the analysis of the survey clearly illustrated that the alterations to the medical system based on adverse habits do not really help the society. Instead of restricting the free health service, increasing the cost of cigars and alcohol by imposing a high tax is highly recommended.
In summary, I strongly feel that free health service system should not be based on people’s unhealthy lifestyle. We should treat this as a psychological disorder and local council should take responsibility to provide proper counselling at no charge, to improve living standards.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add separating comma Original: social habits everyone Suggested revision: social habits, everyone Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory phrase to separate it from the main clause.
- 2. Correct fixed phrase Original: at free of cost Suggested revision: free of charge Why it matters: The standard expression is 'free of charge' or simply 'free.'
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: Living standards of the people Suggested revision: People's living standards Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and natural here.
- 4. Clarify the examples Original: like society, family conditions, job responsibilities etc. Suggested revision: such as social circumstances, family conditions and job responsibilities Why it matters: This wording makes the list more precise and avoids the vague use of 'society.'
- 5. Correct stress collocation Original: highly stressed in designing Suggested revision: under considerable stress while designing Why it matters: People are 'under stress' while doing an activity rather than 'stressed in' it.
- 6. Use singular expression Original: times Suggested revision: time Why it matters: The idiomatic time expression uses the singular form.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: work out for body fitness Suggested revision: exercise to stay fit Why it matters: This is the natural way to express the intended purpose.
- 8. Correct industry phrase Original: Employees of a manufacturing industry Suggested revision: Employees in manufacturing Why it matters: The preposition 'in' correctly describes employment within an industry.
- 9. Choose natural verb Original: undergo Suggested revision: face Why it matters: People normally 'face' problems rather than 'undergo' them.
- 10. Clarify the concession Original: Despite ruining their healthy lifestyle Suggested revision: Despite sacrificing a healthy lifestyle Why it matters: 'Sacrificing' clearly expresses that work pressures cause them to give up healthy habits.
- 11. Remove unnecessary article Original: contribute to the society Suggested revision: contribute to society Why it matters: 'Society' is used without an article when referring to society in general.
- 12. Use precise tax phrase Original: in the form of tax Suggested revision: through taxes Why it matters: The plural noun and preposition express this contribution naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- social habits everyone social habits, everyone
- at free of cost free of charge
- Living standards of the people People's living standards
- like society, family conditions, job responsibilities etc. such as social circumstances, family conditions and job responsibilities
- highly stressed in designing under considerable stress while designing
- times time
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and supports it with relevant reasoning about workers, deterrence, taxation, and counselling. Its main limitation is that some evidence is asserted rather than convincingly established, especially the survey, while recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer arguments more rigorously and edit sentence structures and word combinations for natural accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with several relevant reasons, although parts of the survey-based argument are asserted or only loosely justified.
Develop the strongest two reasons with more credible explanation and explicitly connect each example to equal access to healthcare.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the position, supporting reasons, an opposing view, and a conclusion, with generally clear paragraphing and referencing.
Tighten the long third paragraph by grouping the counterargument, response, and alternative policy into a more controlled sequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but awkward combinations such as health levels and work out for body fitness weaken precision.
Prioritise natural collocations for healthcare, exercise, addiction, and public policy, and avoid substituting near-synonyms that change the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms communicates the argument clearly, though article, agreement, clause, and verb-form errors recur across the response.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clause boundaries, correct auxiliary patterns, and article use before adding further structural complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most of the countries provide free health service. Some people believe that people with unhealthy habits like smoking, stress and not exercising should not get this free service. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.