All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. How far do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
In today’s modern world, one of the most controversial issues relates to whether the museums and art galleries around the globe should be made free to the tourists or not due to the reason that they play an indispensable role to educate the public about the cultures and traditions of a country. Personally, I strongly agree that all museums and art galleries should be made free access to the public.
There are a couple of reasons why the museums and art galleries should be made free. To begin, free admission fees will definitely be able to attract more tourists to visit. It is important to ensure that the cultures of a nation can be well-spread and known by both the local tourists as well as the foreigners. It is, indirectly, opening up an avenue to widen their horizons so that they can become more knowledgeable who can contribute endlessly to the society. It will also help them to reduce the experience of culture shock when they arrive in a new place in the future.
The factor which supports the view of making all the museums and art galleries free access to the tourists is that they may soon become one of the famous tourist attractions in their countries which are effective in promoting the traditions of the locals. With free access to the museums and art galleries, the locals and foreign tourists can visit them at no cost and it is proven to be one of the successful methods to attract those backpackers and low expenditure tourists to visit. Undoubtedly, they will be able to acquire knowledge about the history of a country and also the cultures of the local people which will make their travelling more meaningful. In addition, sooner or later, they will learn how to respect others cultures which may be slightly or totally different from theirs and become more open-minded.
In conclusion, I think all the museums and art galleries should be free in order to spread the cultures of a particular country effectively to all over the world. I believe every individual will no longer experience any culture shock once these places are free to access by everyone when they arrive in a new place.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct adjective phrase Original: made free access to the public Suggested revision: made freely accessible to the public Why it matters: Freely accessible is the grammatical expression for public access without charge.
- 2. Remove contradiction Original: free admission fees Suggested revision: free admission Why it matters: A fee is a charge, so free admission fees is internally contradictory.
- 3. Use concise modal Original: definitely be able to attract Suggested revision: attract Why it matters: The simple verb expresses the prediction without unnecessary wording.
- 4. Use precise noun Original: more tourists to visit Suggested revision: more visitors Why it matters: Visitors already identifies people who come to the museums, so to visit is redundant.
- 5. Use singular culture Original: the cultures of a nation Suggested revision: a nation's culture Why it matters: Culture is normally singular when referring collectively to one nation.
- 6. Use natural wording Original: well-spread Suggested revision: widely promoted Why it matters: Widely promoted is the natural collocation for increasing awareness of culture.
- 7. Correct the preposition Original: by Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Information or culture is known to people, not known by them.
- 8. Complete paired conjunction Original: as well as the foreigners Suggested revision: and international visitors Why it matters: Both requires and, while international visitors is more appropriate than foreigners here.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: experience Suggested revision: risk Why it matters: People reduce the risk of experiencing culture shock, not the experience itself.
- 10. Use consistent labels Original: the locals and foreign tourists Suggested revision: local and international tourists Why it matters: The parallel adjectives create a concise and neutral contrast.
- 11. Avoid unsupported passive Original: it is proven to be Suggested revision: this can be Why it matters: This can be makes a defensible claim without the unspecified passive it is proven.
- 12. Fix one-of structure Original: one of the successful methods Suggested revision: a successful method Why it matters: One of would require a defined plural set, which is not supplied here.
Suggested Rewrites
- made free access to the public made freely accessible to the public
- free admission fees free admission
- definitely be able to attract attract
- more tourists to visit more visitors
- the cultures of a nation a nation's culture
- well-spread widely promoted
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with relevant cultural and educational benefits, while its paragraph sequence is easy to follow. Its main limitation is that the two central arguments overlap and several claims, especially about culture shock, are asserted too broadly. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two genuinely distinct reasons with specific, credible explanation and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is sustained and supported with relevant reasons, though development becomes repetitive and some claims are insufficiently convincing.
Develop two distinct benefits of free admission and support each with a concrete, credible example rather than repeating cultural exposure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with generally clear referencing and linking.
Give each body paragraph a sharply different controlling idea and reduce repeated phrasing about free access and tourists.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but recurring awkward collocations and word forms reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace combinations such as made free access and low expenditure tourists with standard collocations such as free to enter and budget travellers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex and simple structures communicates the argument clearly, although article, possessive and sentence-structure errors recur.
Prioritise accurate noun phrases and clause construction, especially articles, possessive forms and relative clauses in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. How far do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.