Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel.Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Raising the price of car fuel is believed by some people to be an excellent method to solve the growing number of environmental issues. However, I strongly disagree with this idea, as doing so would make life difficult for lower-income households. While making fuel more expensive wouldn’t change the habits of wealthy families, switching to fossil fuel alternatives could prove to be much more beneficial for the environment.
The most compelling reason against raising the cost of fuel is that the upper classes of society will hardly be affected by rising fuel costs, as this only makes up a minor proportion of their expenditure. They will continue to use their personal vehicles as they wish without a thought for the environment or the higher fuel prices, even if their country has state-of-the-art public transportation.
Those who will feel the crunch of this decision are the middle-class and lower-income households, since travelling is a major part of most people’s routine, be it to work, school or shopping. Driving is almost unavoidable in many instances; therefore, raising the price of petrol would only serve to widen the gap between the rich and poor, and serve as an inadvertent form of discrimination.
Another reason why increasing the cost of fuel is far from the best way to deal with environmental pollution is that now there are much more viable alternatives. Due to the rapid advances in technology, scientists and engineers have been able to develop several alternatives to fossil fuel, such as cars powered by electricity or naturally produced biofuel. The move to adopt clean energy sources instead of fossil fuels is a much more promising alternative compared to simply making fuel more expensive.
In conclusion, I believe that governments of the world should invest more time and money in finding alternatives to fossil fuels that are more environmentally friendly, rather than simply raising the cost of petrol.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural term Original: car Suggested revision: vehicle Why it matters: Vehicle fuel is a more natural general term for fuel used in transport.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: excellent method to solve Suggested revision: effective way to address Why it matters: Problems are more naturally addressed, and effective is more precise than excellent here.
- 3. Clarify the subject Original: this only makes up a minor proportion of their expenditure Suggested revision: fuel accounts for only a minor proportion of their expenditure Why it matters: The explicit subject fuel removes the unclear reference of this.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: the higher fuel prices Suggested revision: higher fuel prices Why it matters: The general reference to higher prices does not require the definite article.
- 5. Use precise idiom Original: feel the crunch of this decision Suggested revision: bear the brunt of this decision Why it matters: Bear the brunt more precisely describes suffering most from a policy decision.
- 6. Fix coordinated modifiers Original: the middle-class and lower-income households Suggested revision: middle- and lower-income households Why it matters: The two coordinated income descriptors should both modify households.
- 7. Use parallel forms Original: be it to work, school or shopping Suggested revision: whether for work, school, or shopping Why it matters: The replacement presents the three travel purposes in a parallel structure.
- 8. Complete paired nouns Original: the rich and poor Suggested revision: the rich and the poor Why it matters: Both nominalized adjectives require the definite article in this paired expression.
- 9. Avoid verb repetition Original: serve Suggested revision: act Why it matters: Using act avoids repeating serve in the same clause.
- 10. Fix quantifier and order Original: is that now there are much more viable alternatives Suggested revision: is that there are now many more viable alternatives Why it matters: Countable alternatives takes many, and now sits more naturally after there are.
- 11. Fix comparison wording Original: a much more promising alternative compared to Suggested revision: a far more promising approach than Why it matters: The replacement avoids repeating alternative and forms a direct comparison with than.
Suggested Rewrites
- car vehicle
- excellent method to solve effective way to address
- this only makes up a minor proportion of their expenditure fuel accounts for only a minor proportion of their expenditure
- the higher fuel prices higher fuel prices
- feel the crunch of this decision bear the brunt of this decision
- the middle-class and lower-income households middle- and lower-income households
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its direct, well-sustained disagreement, developed through a coherent comparison of unequal financial effects and cleaner technological alternatives. Its main limitation is that some claims are slightly absolute or under-evidenced, and a few expressions are less precise than the surrounding vocabulary. The highest-priority improvement is to support the social-impact argument with a concrete example and refine awkward references and collocations for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is unambiguous and fully developed through relevant arguments about inequality and alternative energy solutions.
Add a concrete example or qualification to strengthen the claim that higher fuel prices would discriminate against poorer households.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from the limited effectiveness of price rises to their social effects and a stronger alternative.
Tighten the transition between the first two body paragraphs so their closely related points form an even more integrated progression.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide, flexible vocabulary with generally precise topic language and only occasional awkward collocation.
Refine expressions such as “alternatives to fossil fuel” and avoid repeating “alternative” in close proximity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, and the few minor reference issues do not impede communication.
Clarify pronoun references such as “this” and streamline a few heavily layered clauses for maximum precision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel.Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.