Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable? Could the money be better spent? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Sample Response
We all know that there is no perfect country in this world of ours. People face death fromthrough starvation every day due to the lack of money to buy food and other necessities, such as medication. Sometimes, these resources are scarcethere is a scarcity of these resources even if money is available. In my view, it is wrong for governments to spend enormous funds on their space exploration and astrophysics programs when there are poor people who are hungry and sick in their respectivevarious countries.
I believe that governments should make it a priority to spend money on providing the basic needs of people here on Earth before they use it for research intotowards exploring other planets. First of all, regardless of what country they may happen to live in, all peoplelive in - all people require food, clean water/sanitation, shelter and medication to protect themselves from viruses and bacterial infections. Apart from these basic requirementsmost basic and fundamental requirements, people also need a good education so that they can find stable jobs in order to support themselves and their families. Instead of allocating additional funding for space exploration, governments should realise the importance of maintaining a healthy populace. For example, the USA has spent more than 23 billion dollars in the last 30 years on research, rather than spending it on the basic needs of its citizens. Moreover, in America, there are over 6 million homeless people and more than 2 million others who have lost their houses because of foreclosure. Also, there are more than 5 million people who are HIV-positive and in need of treatment. If the U.S. government decidedIf the U.S. Government would decide to spend as much money on medical research as it does on its space programan equal amount of money on medical research as it does on its space program, then scientists might be able to find better treatments for this devastating disease so that many lives could be saved.
Secondly, many people in Africa lack foodhave a lack of food, clean water and electricity. I believe that we have a moral and ethical duty to help Africa and other poor countries around the world. It is more worthwhile to helpIt is worthier to help those who share our own planet before we travel to the moon. In my own caseAs for myself, I did my pharmacy internship in Egypt, where I witnessed many examples of why it would be wise for the government to spend more money in the area of medical and pharmaceutical researchmedical / pharmaceutical research. Many people there face pain and death every day because of hepatitis Cthe Hepatitis C Virus. This insidious virus is responsible for the deathsresponsible for causing the deaths of more than 1 million people in Africa each year. The cost of medication to treat it is very high—approximatelyvery high -- approximately 20,000 dollars per patient. On the other hand, Egypt has spent more than 200 million dollars on space exploration and research into other planetsspace exploration and researching other planets. I think that it would have been a much smarter choice for them to have used the money to provide medication for those who could not afford it.
In summary, it is my viewpoint that governments should concentrate on solving their own internal problems by offering their citizens the basic requirements of life such as food, clean water/sanitation, shelter and medication. They should use any excess money to improve the lives of their inhabitantsfor improving the lives of their inhabitants by providing them with educational opportunities so that they can find decent jobs in order to become independent. It is important to fund academic pursuits such as space exploration and research in the field of Astrophysics, of course, but not at the expense of the lives of human beings who live on this planet.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear, consistent case for prioritising food, healthcare, education, and poverty relief before additional space spending, supported by extensive national and personal examples. Its main limitation is repetition and one-sided evaluation: alternative spending is developed at length, but the value of space research is acknowledged only briefly. Prioritise weighing a specific benefit of space research against urgent terrestrial needs, while condensing repeated lists and claims.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position and alternative spending priorities are extensively developed with relevant examples, though the possible justification for space research receives little evaluation.
Assess one concrete benefit of space research before explaining why urgent health, poverty, or education needs should still take priority.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through basic domestic needs and international or medical needs to a consistent conclusion, but long paragraphs repeat several points.
Condense the repeated lists of necessities and divide the evidence into shorter, more focused claim–example–evaluation units.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a broad and generally precise range of vocabulary for public spending, health, poverty, and research, with occasional awkward choices.
Replace expressions such as ‘death through starvation’, ‘research towards exploring’, ‘have a lack of’, and ‘worthier’ with more natural academic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is mostly accurate, with occasional conditional, punctuation, article, and reference errors that do not impede meaning.
Use ‘if the government decided’ rather than ‘would decide’, and check punctuation around inserted clauses and pronoun reference to singular governments.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable? Could the money be better spent? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.