Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what do you extent agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that making future plans is a futile exercise, and that focusing on the present moment is more important. Personally, I feel that both perspectives are of equal importance.
On the one hand, I believe that it is important to plan for the future. People need to have goals and dreams to strive towards in order to have a sense of purpose and direction in their lives. And to achieve and fulfil these goals and be successful, it is essential that they make plans. I am certain that any successful businessman, or millionaire, will tell you that one of the key elements in their success was their careful planning for the future. (1) However, the future is always uncertain, so it is also necessary to have a backup plan when things do not work out as expected. (2)
On the other hand, it is also extremely important to maintain focus on the present. Many people would claim that there are far too many factors that influence our future, and therefore it is out of our control. (3) So, it is necessary that we stay focused on the present moment in order to be able to react and respond appropriately to our current situation and needs. If you are too focused on the future, you may not make very good decisions about your present life. Furthermore, nobody knows when their life will end, so it is also important to live your life to the fullest in each passing moment.
In conclusion, I believe it is important to maintain a balance between planning for the future and staying focused on the present moment. It is necessary to make plans in order to achieve goals, but it is also necessary to be flexible and be able to adapt to the current changing situations and circumstances.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the unnecessary comma Original: exercise, and that Suggested revision: exercise and that Why it matters: The two coordinated that-clauses should not be separated by a comma.
- 2. Remove repetition Original: And to achieve and fulfil these goals and be successful Suggested revision: To achieve these goals and succeed Why it matters: Achieve and fulfil overlap in meaning, and the revision expresses the result more concisely.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: any successful businessman, or millionaire, Suggested revision: any successful businessperson or millionaire Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary commas and uses a gender-neutral occupational term.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: in Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Element of is the natural collocation for a contributing factor.
- 5. Remove the stray marker Original: (1) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained marker interrupts the flow and serves no clear textual function.
- 6. Remove the stray marker Original: (2) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained marker disrupts the paragraph without linking to any note.
- 7. Remove the stray marker Original: (3) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained marker interrupts the transition to the following sentence.
- 8. Add the article Original: maintain focus on the present Suggested revision: maintain a focus on the present Why it matters: The countable noun focus is more naturally introduced with an article in this construction.
- 9. Use a formal connector Original: So Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: Therefore expresses the logical consequence more formally and precisely.
- 10. Avoid near repetition Original: react and respond appropriately Suggested revision: respond appropriately Why it matters: React and respond overlap here, so one verb conveys the intended action more concisely.
- 11. Remove redundant wording Original: current changing situations and circumstances Suggested revision: changing circumstances Why it matters: Current, situations, and circumstances create unnecessary overlap around the central idea.
Suggested Rewrites
- exercise, and that exercise and that
- And to achieve and fulfil these goals and be successful To achieve these goals and succeed
- any successful businessman, or millionaire, any successful businessperson or millionaire
- in of
- (1) Delete
- (2) Delete
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, nuanced position and develops both planning and present-focused living with relevant, logically connected reasoning. Its main limitation is that some support remains broad and a few expressions are slightly repetitive or awkward. To improve further, sharpen the examples and condense repeated statements about necessity so the argument becomes more precise and persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the issue through a clear balanced position and well-developed reasons for both perspectives.
Use a more concrete example to make the case for balancing present needs with future planning even more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced coherently in focused paragraphs, and cohesive links support a smooth argumentative progression.
Vary the openings of supporting sentences to make connections feel less repetitive.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, with only occasional awkwardness or repetition.
Replace repetitive uses of 'necessary' and refine phrases such as 'current changing situations' for greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with errors rare and meaning consistently clear.
Polish occasional wordy constructions while preserving the strong control of complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what do you extent agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.