Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.
Sample Response
It is common for a student to take a gap-year in a foreign country or even work for a year prior to university. Whether a student should engage in travelling or working before embarking on a formal qualification has been a topic of debate for various years. Firstly the advantages of such activities will be discussed, followed by all the economical disadvantages one encounters on such endeavours.
The benefits of resisting university for a year to travel or work open the students mind to new worlds, such as having responsibility at work or learning a new language abroad. Having spent a year in Australia prior to university I learnt how to look for work, become responsible with finances and other essential life skills such as cooking.
Upon starting university various tasks such as money management and employment were second nature thus allowing more time for studies. Without having gone abroad university life would undoubtedly be more challenging.
The disadvantages are mainly cost related, the airfare, travel insurance, national insurance and personal living costs are large sums. However finding another opportunity to go abroad is difficult once the pattern of normal life is resumed.
In addition it also an opportunity to experiment with different jobs before choosing a career at university. Therefore there is a considerable advantage of taking a year out before higher education.
To conclude, the main disadvantages are the costs involved, however the benefits dramatically outweigh the disadvantages. Time should be spent wisely as it can never be recuperated unlike money which can be spent and earned.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove noun hyphen Original: a gap-year Suggested revision: a gap year Why it matters: The noun phrase 'gap year' is written without a hyphen.
- 2. Use natural duration phrase Original: various Suggested revision: many Why it matters: 'For many years' is the natural expression for an extended period.
- 3. Add introductory comma Original: Firstly the Suggested revision: Firstly, the Why it matters: An introductory linking adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 4. Choose correct adjective Original: all the economical disadvantages Suggested revision: the economic disadvantages Why it matters: 'Economic' means relating to finances, whereas 'economical' means inexpensive.
- 5. Match the student subject Original: one encounters Suggested revision: students may encounter Why it matters: The revision avoids an abrupt shift from 'a student' to the impersonal pronoun 'one'.
- 6. Use suitable preposition Original: on Suggested revision: during Why it matters: 'During' more clearly expresses the time in which these disadvantages occur.
- 7. Use natural university phrase Original: starting Suggested revision: entering Why it matters: 'Entering university' is the more natural expression for beginning higher education.
- 8. Clarify the activity Original: and employment were second nature Suggested revision: and finding employment were second nature Why it matters: 'Finding employment' names the activity that could become second nature.
- 9. Clarify the result link Original: thus Suggested revision: thereby Why it matters: 'Thereby' links the established skills more precisely to the resulting study time.
- 10. Add possessive determiner Original: more time for studies Suggested revision: more time for their studies Why it matters: A possessive determiner is needed to link the studies to the students.
- 11. Separate introductory clause Original: abroad university Suggested revision: abroad, university Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory conditional clause.
- 12. Add transition comma Original: However finding Suggested revision: However, finding Why it matters: The sentence-opening transition 'However' should be followed by a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- a gap-year a gap year
- various many
- Firstly the Firstly, the
- all the economical disadvantages the economic disadvantages
- one encounters students may encounter
- on during
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear preference for a gap year, supported by a relevant personal example and practical points about life skills and costs. The main limitation is substantial task coverage: it discusses travelling or working but does not examine the advantages and disadvantages of going directly to university. The highest-priority improvement is to add a balanced, developed comparison of that second approach before refining recurring language errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops benefits and costs of a gap year but only partially answers the task because the direct-to-university approach is not discussed.
Devote developed points to the advantages and disadvantages of immediate university study and compare them with taking a gap year.
Coherence and Cohesion
The central line of argument is understandable, but short fragmented paragraphs and a late return to advantages weaken progression.
Group all gap-year advantages together, follow them with disadvantages, and create parallel sections for the university-first approach.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of topic vocabulary, but recurrent inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as resisting university, economical disadvantages, and recuperated time with accurate, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence forms show some variety, but missing words, possessive errors, and comma splices recur across the response.
Proofread clause boundaries, possessives, articles, and required verbs so complex sentences remain accurate as well as clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.