Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Taking a year off from education between finishing school or college and going to university is a popular choice for young people. Generally speaking, doing so does not negatively affect their educational progress and, depending on how the time out is spent, can lead to invaluable experiences before moving into higher education. For example, one of the most popular reasons for taking an educational break is to travel, this offers the student an opportunity to come face to face with different cultures, to meet new people and in some cases wilt open up new opportunities abroad that may not have arisen at home. Alternatively, some choose to spend the period in work. This could be in the voluntary sector, on conservation projects or in paid work, for example as an au pair or even teaching English overseas. The skills and experiences gained can be extremely useful at university and when looking for employment afterwards. However, taking a year out can have its drawbacks. To begin with, it means spending a year away from studying. Returning to it and regaining the discipline and focus required can be difficult for some. Additionally, the break can lead to carefully laid plans being blown off course if attractive offers of work or further travel become available. Nevertheless. it is probably true to say that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. The time spent away from education gives the person the chance to reflect on life and any important decisions before signing up for a lengthy and expensive period of study. What is more, the experiences gained during the year out will build self-confidence and maturity, qualities that will prove invaluable in the years to come.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural phrase Original: out Suggested revision: away Why it matters: “Time away” is a more natural expression for a break from education in this sentence.
- 2. Use the correct collocation Original: spend the period in work Suggested revision: spend the period working Why it matters: English uses “spend time” followed by a gerund to describe an activity.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: it Suggested revision: study Why it matters: Naming “study” directly removes the potentially unclear pronoun reference.
- 4. Use concise formal wording Original: carefully laid plans being blown off course Suggested revision: carefully laid plans being derailed Why it matters: “Derailed” expresses the same disruption more concisely in an academic register.
- 5. Keep reference consistent Original: the person the chance to reflect on life and any important decisions Suggested revision: young people the chance to reflect on their lives and important decisions Why it matters: The plural reference aligns with the essay’s subject and makes the object of reflection more natural.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: signing up for Suggested revision: committing to Why it matters: “Committing to” is more appropriate than the informal phrasal verb in an academic essay.
- 7. Avoid absolute prediction Original: will Suggested revision: can Why it matters: “Can” expresses the likely benefit without making an unnecessarily absolute prediction.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, one of the most popular reasons for taking an educational break is to travel, this offers the student an opportunity to come face to face with different cultures, to meet new people and in some cases wilt open up new opportunities abroad that may not have arisen at home. Suggested revision: For example, one of the most popular reasons for taking an educational break is to travel, which offers students an opportunity to experience different cultures, meet new people and, in some cases, open up opportunities abroad that may not have arisen at home. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the comma splice, corrects the typo, and makes the list parallel.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This could be in the voluntary sector, on conservation projects or in paid work, for example as an au pair or even teaching English overseas. Suggested revision: This could involve voluntary work on conservation projects or paid employment, for example working as an au pair or teaching English overseas. Why it matters: The rewrite makes both lists grammatically parallel and clarifies the types of work described.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Nevertheless. it is probably true to say that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. Suggested revision: Nevertheless, it is probably true to say that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. Why it matters: The conjunctive adverb requires a comma so that it links correctly to the following clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- out away
- spend the period in work spend the period working
- it study
- carefully laid plans being blown off course carefully laid plans being derailed
- the person the chance to reflect on life and any important decisions young people the chance to reflect on their lives and important decisions
- signing up for committing to
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear, well-supported evaluation of gap years, balancing travel and work benefits against realistic risks before reaching a consistent conclusion. Its principal weakness is presentation: the entire essay forms one paragraph, and a comma splice, a punctuation break, and a spelling slip interrupt otherwise fluent writing. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and proofread sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and consistent, with relevant benefits and drawbacks developed through specific, persuasive examples.
Deepen the link between the examples and success after returning to education for an even sharper response to the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses smoothly and cohesive links are effective, but the lack of paragraphing obscures an otherwise clear structure.
Use separate paragraphs for benefits, drawbacks, and the final evaluation so each stage of the argument is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, natural, and precise, including effective language for travel, employment, education, and personal development.
Maintain this precision while eliminating isolated slips through a final proofreading pass.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with strong control, and the few errors are localized without hindering meaning.
Correct sentence-boundary punctuation and check for typographical errors before submission.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.