Some people think that men and women should have an equal position in the army while others oppose this by stating that women are not as competent as men in the army. Which point of view do you agree with? Why?
Sample Response
In the modern world, when women rub shoulders with men in every field, it is debatable whetherit is a moot issue that women should assumetake equal responsibilities in the army. This essay will argueThis essay would discuss that men are better suited to military servicemore suitable in the army and my viewpoint accordsaccord with that. Males have more physical strength and emotional maturity, which are necessary for military personnelwhich is necessary for a non-civilian. Firstly, roles in the armed forcesjobs in warfare and armed forces require physical fitness. Handling sophisticated machines and weapons needsneed physicalbody strength. Men are more powerful than women; this enables men to perform tasksit facilitates men for to do jobs easily and quickly. Furthermore, different geographical conditionscondition and climatic conditions need to be faced and athe weak body cannot tolerate this. In addition, sometimes warfare soldiers cannot get enough foodfoods; this forces themit forced them to continue their job while hungrywith starving body, which makes it difficult for womenwhich makes difficult for women to work. Secondly, womenthe fair sex is emotionally weak. Men are aggressive and fearless which are required for a soldierwhich require for a soldier to maketake decisions and fight. Moreover, women are submissive and tender-hearted, which lead them to fleewhich are leads to run away from the battlefield rather than fighting. Women will try to safeguard their position, whereas menwhereas, men are selfless and very dominating. This emotional immaturity makes women poor warriorsmakes women as a bad warrior. Ironically, there are some fields women can excel, like health care and other clerical works. To handle women culprits and checking women are needed in the military. To recapitulate, women are playing an important role in many sectors. However, working in military need more abilities, males are ideal for war field, women excel by assisting the job.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response states a clear preference for limiting women to supporting military roles and organises its reasons around physical and emotional demands. Its main limitation is that these claims rely on broad gender stereotypes rather than evidence or role-specific standards, while frequent language errors weaken clarity; the priority is to evaluate individual competence and distinct military duties with credible examples instead of treating all men and women as uniform groups.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position and relevant physical and emotional arguments address the question, but development depends heavily on unsupported gender generalisations.
Compare candidates by role-specific fitness, training, and performance standards, using evidence rather than assumptions about all men or women.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression through two reasons and supporting roles, but the single paragraph and mechanical sequencing weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for physical requirements, emotional competence, alternative roles, and the final judgement, with clear links between them.
Lexical Resource
Some military vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations, repetition, and stereotyped labels reduce precision and appropriacy.
Use neutral, precise terms such as military personnel, physical endurance, operational demands, decision-making, combat roles, and support roles.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb patterns, plurals, and sentence boundaries reduce control and sometimes strain meaning.
Build shorter complete clauses and check every subject-verb pair and infinitive pattern before joining ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that men and women should have an equal position in the army while others oppose this by stating that women are not as competent as men in the army. Which point of view do you agree with? Why?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.