In most science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the numbers?
Sample Response
The majority of tertiary science courses demonstrate a notable gender disparity in enrollment, with more male students than female studentswith a higher number of male students compared to their female counterparts. This essay will first discuss why gender stereotypes are the primary cause of this phenomenon and then outline how challenging these stereotypes can reduceclose this gender disparity.
Traditional gender stereotypes and social expectations about gender roles and abilities play a vital role in shapingstimulating academic interests. In many societies, there is a deep-seated prejudice that science and technology are associated with men, while humanities or social sciences are seen as more suitable for womenparticularly suitable for women. These social stereotypes exert a profound influence on female students when choosing university courseswhen selecting their university courses, leading them to opt for courses that are conventionally considered more feminine. In mathematics, for example, there is an awkward gender gap, and social prejudices portray studying calculus as a masculine activity. This way of thinkingThis paradigm of thought dissuades female students from studyingselecting mathematics, even if they have a keen interest in the subject.
To close this gender divide, educational institutions should challenge gender stereotypes that discourage girls from enrolling in science courses at universities. More specifically,That is to say that schools can organize seminars that challenge these prejudices, promoting discussions on gender equality and the significance of diversity in STEM. For instance, schools can organize mentorship programmes through whichschools can organize mentorship programmes where girls can connect with accomplished women working in scienceeminent women in scientific fields so that the mentors can share their experiences, give guidance and serve as role models, thereby encouraging female students to pursue science courses at universities.
To conclude, many female students do not enrol in science courses at the tertiary level due to gender biases. However, if schools provide female students with workshops or seminars that address and challenge gender stereotypes, this problem can be alleviated to a great extent.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers both parts through a coherent explanation of gender stereotypes and a well-developed educational solution, with effective examples and consistently clear progression. Its main limitation is occasional slightly awkward or repetitive phrasing around gender disparity and stereotypes. The best refinement would be to vary these expressions and sharpen a few collocations while preserving the essay’s focused reasoning and controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the cause and proposed remedy are directly addressed, logically developed, and supported by relevant examples of subject choice, seminars, and mentoring.
For even greater depth, briefly explain how the proposed programmes could produce measurable changes in university enrolment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is clearly organised into focused paragraphs, and ideas progress smoothly through well-managed referencing and cohesive devices.
Reduce minor repetition of key phrases such as gender stereotypes and gender disparity by using concise referencing where the connection is already clear.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise academic vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, with only occasional awkward choices such as stimulating academic interests and awkward gender gap.
Refine the few unnatural collocations while retaining the strong range of topic-specific vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation and sentence control maintained throughout.
Polish occasional wordy clause openings, such as That is to say that, to make the already accurate syntax more concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In most science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the numbers?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.