Genetic engineering is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion?
Sample Response
People all around the world take into account the significance of genetic engineering. Although it is sometimes thought that it has numerous benefits to humanity, others are of the opinion that it could bring destruction to the ecosystem. However, my opinion on that issue is that both negative and positive effects of genetic engineering should be carefully researched and then should be used for the greater good of humanity. There are certain factors of the genetically engineering products. Firstly, crop modification will bring resistant to various plant diseases and it also targets infestation of unwanted insects. In other words, the amount of pesticides and fertiliser used are reduced. Furthermore, many countries are producing genetically engineered crops to produce a good variety of plants and abundant harvest. Genetic engineering can also address the increased food demands of people around the globe. Many diseases that human genetically inherits can be fought against with the improvement of genetic engineering and it can also ensure a generation. However, some people argue that it brings long-term effects to humanity and environment. Certain reasons for these are the concerns of human health in which most modified foods contain toxins that are harmful to us. Also, it produces a minimal amount of nutrition. Another major concern is the potential harm to the environment- once genetically modified organisms are released into the wild, it interbreeds with the native organism and creates new species that may not be desirable. Finally, in my view, it is essential to look at the positive side it brings to humanity. As the population grows, the demand for food supply is increasing, thus, the natural method cannot cope the demand of the people. In this way, scientific way of plantation and farming are fundamental in our environment. Many diseases that cause death to a large number of people could be prevented using the blessing of genetic engineering. In conclusion, there are good arguments for and against genetic engineering, so people must continue to research various methods to minimise the negative side effects of engineering products to ensure the betterment of every individual in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct opening verb Original: take into account the significance of Suggested revision: recognise the importance of Why it matters: The replacement states the idea more directly and naturally.
- 2. Use correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Benefits takes for when identifying the recipient.
- 3. Use precise harm phrase Original: bring destruction to Suggested revision: cause damage to Why it matters: Cause damage to expresses the environmental threat more naturally.
- 4. Fix modifier form Original: factors of the genetically engineering products Suggested revision: issues relating to genetically engineered products Why it matters: Engineered is the required past-participle modifier, and issues relating to expresses the relationship clearly.
- 5. Use resistance phrase Original: bring resistant to Suggested revision: provide resistance to Why it matters: Provide resistance to is the correct collocation for disease-resistant crops.
- 6. Fix infestation phrase Original: targets infestation of unwanted insects Suggested revision: targets infestations by unwanted insects Why it matters: The plural noun and preposition by correctly express insect infestation.
- 7. Match amount agreement Original: the amount of pesticides and fertiliser used are Suggested revision: the amount of pesticide and fertiliser used is Why it matters: The singular head noun amount requires is, with pesticide and fertiliser treated as uncountable substances.
- 8. Avoid repeated produce Original: to produce a good variety of plants and abundant harvest Suggested revision: to develop a wider variety of plants and produce abundant harvests Why it matters: The revision removes repetition and uses the plural harvests for a general outcome.
- 9. Use demand collocation Original: the increased food demands of people Suggested revision: the growing demand for food Why it matters: Demand for food is the natural uncountable construction.
- 10. Use effects collocation Original: brings long-term effects to Suggested revision: has long-term effects on Why it matters: Effects take the preposition on in this construction.
- 11. Add definite article Original: humanity and environment Suggested revision: humanity and the environment Why it matters: Environment requires the definite article when referring to the natural world generally.
- 12. Clarify food claim Original: it produces a minimal amount of nutrition Suggested revision: genetically modified food provides little nutrition Why it matters: The revision replaces the vague pronoun and uses a natural phrase for low nutritional value.
Suggested Rewrites
- take into account the significance of recognise the importance of
- to for
- bring destruction to cause damage to
- factors of the genetically engineering products issues relating to genetically engineered products
- bring resistant to provide resistance to
- targets infestation of unwanted insects targets infestations by unwanted insects
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both sides and maintains a broadly clear, qualified preference for using genetic engineering with safeguards, supported by relevant examples from agriculture, food supply, health, and the environment. Its main limitation is imprecise language, which makes several claims difficult to interpret, while the one-block structure weakens progression. The priority is to develop fewer claims more clearly and organise the opposing views into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both opinions are discussed and a qualified supportive position is maintained, though several claims are vague or insufficiently explained.
Explain one benefit and one threat in greater depth, then state precisely what safeguards would make continued use acceptable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from benefits to risks and opinion is understandable, but the one-block presentation and mechanical signposting weaken cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, benefits, threats, personal evaluation, and conclusion, with clearer links between claims.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of topic vocabulary, but frequent word-form and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as 'resistance to disease', 'meet food demand', and 'cope with demand', and avoid vague phrases such as 'ensure a generation'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, although agreement, article, preposition, and pronoun errors recur.
Check agreement around quantity phrases and singular subjects, then revise long sentences whose pronoun references are unclear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Genetic engineering is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.