Many researchers believe that we can now study the behaviour of children to see if they will grow up to be criminals, while others disagree. To what extent do you think crime is determined by genetics? Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?
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Sample Response
Many psychological researchers argueadvocate that we can study the behaviouractions of children in order to determine their potential to become criminalspotential to become future criminals, while others believe that this approach is neither accurate nor ethicalthis is neither accurate nor ethical. In my opinion, the environment is a much stronger influence on individuals’ propensitymuch larger factor in individuals’ propensity to commit crimes, and therefore, such attempts at predictionsuch endeavours will not stop children from breaking the law in the future.
Firstly, it could be argued that there are indeed biological factors that can predispose individuals to certain behaviours, including antisocial ones. Theories of natural selection suggest that the gene for aggressiveness can be passed down through generations, as it was more likely to help earlyprevious humans survive. Therefore, if we are able to identify the brain mechanisms that triggerdiscern which mechanisms in the brain can trigger such emotional responses in children, we might be able to identify children who are at riskidentify which children are at risk of becoming criminals. For instance, brain scans studies have shown that criminals who have committed crimes but pleaded insanity have less-developed amygdalas than people without such criminal historieshave a less developed amygdala than normal people.
On the other hand, it could be said that seeing crime as an individual issue weakens society’s collective responsibility to care for childrentakes away the collective responsibility of taking care of children so that they do not have to resort to crime. Studies show that there is a direct correlation between poverty and crime rates; thuscrime rates - thus, it is safe to infer that individuals are as much a product of their circumstances as of their geneticsmuch a product of their circumstance as much as their genetics. If children are raised in an area with ample economic opportunities, I argue that it is likely they will commit fewerless crimes in the future. Therefore, efforts to predict children’s behavioural patterns should instead be redirected to providing for their needs.
Overall, I believe that while a neuropsychological approach to crime can be attractive, it is far too simplistic and gives inadequate weight to nurturetakes into account an inadequate role of nurture. Thus, I believe that using studies of children’s behaviour to prevent crimeusing children’s behaviour to prevent crime is unnecessary and ineffective.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a nuanced, consistent position and develops a convincing contrast between biological predisposition and environmental influence. Its main limitation is that the discussion of whether children can actually be stopped from becoming criminals remains somewhat indirect, while several claims and collocations lack precision. Make the prevention answer explicit, distinguish prediction from intervention, and support that conclusion with a directly relevant example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions with a clear, nuanced position and relevant development, although the prevention question is answered somewhat indirectly.
State explicitly how far crime can be prevented and separate the value of social intervention from the limits of behavioural prediction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesive links used effectively.
Sharpen the transition from genetic risk to practical prevention so the relationship between the two questions is even clearer.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, despite occasional awkward or inaccurate collocations.
Refine expressions such as biological research claims and comparative phrases to make the language more natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, while a few agreement, countability, and phrasing errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for local errors such as noun modification and countability before finalising the response.