Some people believe that it is not possible to get information about the place when You are on holiday. Where some people believe that you can get the information. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Past few decades, a citizen like to make trip or picnic in their leisure time. When we are on holiday, some people think that wisdom about surrounding areas is not possible while others claimed that it is possible. Both the notion have own pros and cons; however, I partially agree with the former notion, my inclination will be justified in following paragraphs along with the logical conclusion.
On the one hand, there are numerous reasons behind it indicates that it is not possible. Firstly, in this contemporary era, the majority of the humankind has a busy work schedule, they have less spare time for enjoying life hence, whenever they went to picnic or trip on holiday, the main aim is that enjoy every moment as much as possible rather than collect wisdom about the location. Secondly, a myriad of people only prefer the location to show relatives, family members or friends; they have no interest in the place, the holiday is just time pass for them.
On the other hand, for some people this task is possible. The number of people gathered place details or research on holiday; it is also for some occupation such as reporter, scientists. In addition, Safety reasons are also considered. Moreover, insights into the new location and local culture are given priority to collect information about the place when we are on holiday.
To sum up, some people argued that it is likely impossible to gather place information in controversy whenever we are enjoying bank days. Others believe that we can get it. I believe that we go on holiday for enjoyment hence it is hard to mark and get clues although, for safety and insights parameters we can get it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use accurate noun Original: wisdom about surrounding areas Suggested revision: information about the surrounding area Why it matters: Wisdom does not mean factual information about a place in this context.
- 2. Keep tense consistent Original: claimed Suggested revision: claim Why it matters: The general present-time discussion requires claim to match think.
- 3. Fix clause structure Original: behind it indicates Suggested revision: indicating Why it matters: Indicating correctly modifies reasons, whereas behind it indicates creates an ungrammatical clause.
- 4. Fix quantifier agreement Original: the majority of the humankind has Suggested revision: most people have Why it matters: Most people have is the natural expression and supplies agreement with the plural subject.
- 5. Fix comma splice Original: work schedule, they Suggested revision: work schedule, so they Why it matters: Adding so states the result relationship and prevents two independent clauses from being joined by a comma alone.
- 6. Fix tense and form Original: went to picnic or trip Suggested revision: go on a picnic or trip Why it matters: A habitual statement needs present tense and the construction go on a picnic or trip.
- 7. Use infinitive complement Original: the main aim is that enjoy Suggested revision: their main aim is to enjoy Why it matters: Aim is followed by a to-infinitive, and their supplies the necessary possessor.
- 8. Use accurate wording Original: wisdom Suggested revision: information Why it matters: Information, rather than wisdom, is the correct noun for facts about a location.
- 9. Clarify verb pattern Original: only prefer the location to show Suggested revision: choose the location only to show it to Why it matters: The revision supplies the object pronoun and uses the correct pattern for showing something to someone.
- 10. Fix comma splice Original: the place, the holiday Suggested revision: the place; the holiday Why it matters: A semicolon is needed because both sides are independent clauses.
- 11. Use idiomatic phrase Original: time pass Suggested revision: a way to pass the time Why it matters: A way to pass the time is the standard English expression for this meaning.
- 12. Fix subject and tense Original: The number of people gathered Suggested revision: Some people gather Why it matters: Some people gather correctly introduces an unspecified group in a general present-time statement.
Suggested Rewrites
- wisdom about surrounding areas information about the surrounding area
- claimed claim
- behind it indicates indicating
- the majority of the humankind has most people have
- work schedule, they work schedule, so they
- went to picnic or trip go on a picnic or trip
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response’s clearest strength is its recognizable discussion structure, with separate treatment of both views and an opinion maintained through the conclusion. However, the supporting reasons are thin or confusing, and frequent grammatical and lexical errors repeatedly strain clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each view through one clearly explained, relevant reason expressed in straightforward, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and an opinion are present, but the reasons are only partially developed and are sometimes difficult to relate convincingly to the question.
Give each side one clear causal explanation and a concrete example showing why information can or cannot be obtained during a holiday.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main stages, but progression within paragraphs is weakened by unclear logical links and mechanically used connectors.
Organise each body paragraph around one central claim, followed by explanation and an example, rather than adding loosely connected assertions.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, but frequent inaccurate choices such as ‘wisdom’, ‘bank days’, and ‘insights parameters’ obscure meaning.
Prioritise common, precise expressions such as ‘information about a destination’, ‘public holidays’, and ‘safety concerns’ over forced substitutions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, sentence boundaries, and clause structure cause regular difficulty.
Build shorter complete sentences with secure subject-verb agreement before combining ideas with conjunctions and relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is not possible to get information about the place when You are on holiday. Where some people believe that you can get the information. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.